Lopsided World Of L
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February 28

Brian Jones (Rolling Stones) 1943-1969
Birthday's today: Bernadette Peters, John Turturro, Mario Andretti, Gilbert Gottfried,
Bubba Smith, Zero Mostel 1915-1977, Ben Hecht 1893-1964
February 29 (born on leap year) Dennis Farina, Tempest Storm, Dinah Shore 1916-1994

Question of the week: GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
3 high profile cases. Michael Jackson, Robert Blake, Phil Spector.
YOU be the judge.

They're all guilty. Even Michael's monkey, Bubbles, is guilty. So was Marie Antoinette. Vive le France!
Corey O' Brien KXRK X-96 Salt Lake City UT

I would agree to be the judge, but I'd need to hear and see all the evidence first and none of these cases interests me very much. But if I were getting paid a judge's salary, I'd force myself to pay attention. I'd much rather be the judge in a treason trial against George W Bush.
Howie Klein Former President Reprise Records, Los Angeles CA

With songs like PYT (Pretty Young Thing), Monkey Business, Smooth Criminal, In the Back, I Just Can't Stop Loving You, and Beat It, we should have seen the warning signs with Michael Jackson.
Mark Rudkin Houston TX

All guilty...but all suffering from mental defect. Cheers!
Kat Corbett Middays KROQ Los Angeles CA

I think they are all three guilty. Michael Jackson will get off. Phil Spector could get some jail time Robert Blake will die in prison. Three talented but very distrubed people. Have a great week,
Marcie Robinson PD KACV Amarillo TX

More Responses all week. Cast your feelings. Your thoughts count!

The JL recap of Oscars

The 77th annual Academy Awards have come and now is history. I always watch the Oscarsbut know that this recap is coming from someonemewho never goes to a movie theatre. At least not in years, I can't take the noise, interruptions, and the high cost of going to the movies. For two people it can be expensive, especially if you throw in the cost of one large drink and popcorn. I figure, and those who really know me, I'd prefer to wait and buy the DVD on sale day, or watch it on cable. So I have not seen any of the contender's films or performances. I do have Ray on DVD. I will get around to watching it soon.

Ok having said that here is my recap of last night's event. First, let me say Chris Rock was an awful host. His rhythm of humor was off. He almost bordered on annoying at times. Not that I care about Jude Law, but Rock's going off on Law was a waste of time and came across less as humor than and more as a pot shot. Of course I wouldn't know what he meant to achieve by his remarks?

Maybe next year get Robin Williams who is always on or Mike Meyers. Rock's black/white jokes weren't funny, and came across, as blacks are still second-class citizens. Not in Hollywood Chris. We have some incredible talents that are African Americans. Enough of trying to make it seem as if you and all blacks are still persecuted, especially in Hollywood, or music for that matter. That's bullshit. When Sean Penn came out and shot a remark to you that Law was a fine actor in his defense you didn't have to come out and state your lame "my accountants will be in touch joke. It wasn't funny. Or was it a joke?

I thought Jamie Foxx's speech as he accepted best actor was very natural and touching. I thought he was very good in Collateral too. The end about his grandmother almost made my cry. It was the best acceptance speech of the whole night. The most beautiful woman of the entire evening was Salma Hayek. She was gorgeous. Bad hair day awards go to Rene Zellweger, Prince, Drew Barrymore, Charlize Theron, and Natalie Portman. Runner-up as most beautiful of the evening was Gwyneth Paltrow.

How awkward is it every year when they do the in memoriamsegment? People cheer, whistle and clap but only for certain entertainers. As Yo Yo Ma performed a morbid piece on cello, people were cheering off and on. It seems weird. It just always does.

Carlos Santana and Antonio Banderas, and Beyonce with Josh Groban were terrific duets. True gentlemen were Morgan Freeman and Clint Eastwood in their acceptance speeches. I still don't get what's so special about Hillary Swank, but hey that's me.

I did like the idea what they did with the lesser awards by having in many categories all the nominees on stage so we didn't have to sit through the walking down the isle, hugging and high fiving people which eats up time. Overall I would give the show B+. It began at 5:30 PM PST and ended at 8:40 so 3 hours. Not bad.

Your thought's are welcome

February 27

Elizabeth Taylor
Birthday's today: Ralph Nader, James Worthy, Joanne Woodward, Wendy Liebman,
John Steinbeck 1902-1968, Marian Anderson 1897-1993, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 1807-1882

I wasn't...but for you...sure..why not.

Still doin bits? April Fool's, late 90s. KROQ LA helped open "The new mall in Orange County"...Just off the 5 freeway...Didn't exist. If you've ever lived in SOCAL and were trying to find ANYTHING off the 5 and couldn't you'd honestly start losing your mind. For KROQ to send people to a mall that didn't even exist...BRILLIANT. They kept ending all phone calls with "You can't miss it!" Then they'd hang up. I was a van driver there and luckily had the day off.

In 2001 we (Channel 93.3/KTCL-FM Denver)had U2 play a free roof-top show (they didn't play) on top of the Cheeseman Park Pub (which didn't exist) @ the intersection of Broadway & Logan (they don't intersect). We had people coming from UTAH, NEBRASKA, WYOMING, NEW MEXICO, KANSAS, AND EVEN MONTANA! Unreal. As soon as I got off the air that morning I took a promo dude with me and we parked near Cheeseman Park (the park exists, not the Pub) and watched people drive around looking at all the roof-tops. We played "Under The Blood Red Sky" tracks in the order they were on the cd. Didn't edit shit. Looped 1 minute of crowd noise for 12 HOURS! Then the complaints came in...Some REALLY pissed off Boulder hippies threatening legal action. Out of towners wanted gas money compensation. But the best part was the listeners who respected the gag, called and told anyone who was pissed that they should lighten up. A crowning moment!

Rubin Channel 93.3/KTCL-FM APD/Morning Jerk

I haven't seen Amy Simon in 9 years! The last time was at an improv club in
Santa Monica. We first met in 1989 when she was my rep for EMI. Yesterday at a
baby shower for Felicia (Swerling) Suslow, Amy showed up with her two daughters.
She has done improv and comedy, in addition to writing. You can see her original
play that she wrote and performs at The Empty Stage Theater, 2372 Veteran Ave.
at Pico in West LA. on Sunday March 13 at 3 PM. Other dates are all Sundays at 3PM;
April 10, 24, May 8 * a special Mothers day performance, May 22, and every other
Sunday after. For reservations call 310.308.0947. www.emptystage.com

Amy is awesome. She hasn't changed a bit. I can't promise...but I am going to
make an effort to see the show. Richard Kuhlman directs.

February 26

Johnny Cash 1932-2003
Birthday's today: Antoine "Fats" Domino. Marshall Faulk,
Jackie Gleason 1916-1987, Betty Hutton, Tony Randall 1920-2004

February 25, 2005

Dear Friend, I am writing to inform you that I no longer work for Philadelphia's New Rock, Y100, 100.3 FM.

Wednesday February 24, 2005 at 11:59 Radio One Inc. changed the format from modern rock to hip-hop and r+b. 100.3's frequency will now be playing the music previously heard on 103.9 FM.

Countless memories of FEZtivals, FEASTivals, Sonic Sessions, Tuesday Night Music Clubs, Sunday night air shifts and crazy contests are flashing in front of my face right now. I cherish the fact that I was able to work at Y100 on both the music and marketing side. I came to Y100 in 1997 to host Y-Not the new and local music show. I had know idea that I'd become a part of the programming department that took Y100's music from playing Melissa Ethridge next to Nirvana in 1997 to its current state of playing Modest Mouse next to Nirvana in 2005.

On the marketing side I cherished the ability to let you know about the new avenues we were exploring, the contests we were conducting (many of them insane can you say, eating sheep testicles for Eagles tickets?), and the charity events we were taking part in (we raised over 400 tons of food with our annual Camp Out For Hunger). I received the most joy from bringing both the music world and marketing world together booking over 150 Y100 Sonic Sessions, producing 8 Y100 Sonic Sessions CDs that raised over $300,000 for charity, and experiencing the thrill of bringing 25,000 people together every summer to watch the best modern rock bands in the world rock the Tweeter Center.

The staff at Y100 gladly poured their heart and soul into making Y100 one of the most respected modern rock stations in America. One of the things that drove me every day was my desire to bring all of these wonderful experiences to my hometown of Philadelphia. Thank you for supporting and experiencing Y100 with me. I would not have done any of these things without one man. He started as my boss and became one of my closest friends and one of my most significant role models, behind my father. I want to thank Jim McGuinn, Program Director/heart and soul of Y100. Jim instilled the spirit of the alternative music lifestyle in all of us. The Philadelphia airwaves were blessed with his vision for the past ten years.

Let's hope that vision doesn't end with Y100. Please feel free to contact him at jim@y100rocks.com .

I truly hope we can work together again in the near future. Feel free to contact me at danfein@comcast.net.
Rock, Dan Fein

Dan...we all wish you and Jim the best. If you need anything, just call.

Hi JL, was thinking with Academy Awards on Sunday, a cool upcoming "Question Of The Week" might be (if you're taking suggestions....of course just noticed you just sent one out late last night anyway-doh, oh well, maybe for the next one?!:)

What song, when you hear it, brings to mind instantly an image from a movie that will forever be linked to the song in your mind? For instance, my wife always knew very well and enjoyed Elton John's "Tiny Dancer", but now every time she hears it she immediately thinks of the "bus scene" from the film "Almost Famous". For me it's The Creation's "Making Time", during the opening sequence from "Rushmore", and in the same film the "elevator scene" linked forever now to The Who's "A Quick One (While He's Away").

Maybe that could be worded better, but you get the gist and am sure with it being Oscar Season, it certainly might spark some conversation.

Alright bro, gonna be a brutally busy one for me today (aren't they all?!), so let's shoot for a catch up next week, okay? Otherwise some new projects of mine that should be (if they haven't already) arrived in your mailbox: Acceptance, Wakefield, Stereophonics, Plain White T's, Open Hand, Mae, Bloc Party....but before that you should've also received the Buck 65 and new single from The Fever called "Ladyfingers"?

Check 'em all out, as there's some good stuff there! Have a good (dry?!) weekend bro, Get the idea?
Chris Stowers HARD BOILED Office: 708.763.0761 Cell: 773.259.8935 clstowers@comcast.net

Chris, that's not a bad idea. I might have to reword as you said, make it shorter...but
I like it. The Acceptance is not bad. Wakefield is cool, and I dig Mae. I haven't seen the
others yet...but I'm sure they will show up. Love The Fever, so I can't wait to hear it.
As for the Stereophonics, it would be hard to find a bigger fan...they are golden, so
even though V2 hasn't sent it...if you did...tres cool bro.

February 25

John Doe
Birthday's today: Mike Peters, Tea Leoni, Lisa Kirk, Larry Gelbart, Sean Astin, Paul O' Neill
Ron Santo, Jim Backus 1913-1989, Bobby Riggs, Enrico Caruso 1873-1921

JL Radio Exclusive! The weird beard is back!

Dear Jonathan,

Brooks Brown, announces he found a wayward soul standing on side of a CT country lane and decided that the poor fellow named "Willobee" might as "well be" the new WEQX Program Director. Willobee met his new crew at WEQX Friday and the ship was off and sailing. We, (Brooks & his wife Mimi who's the station's General Manager) are really excited to find such a nice and qualified chap like Willobee to keep the tradition and heritage of WEQX going. Did someone say reinvention....Details to follow....

My bud Will. I am very happy for Brooks and Mimi,
and the staff of 'EQX. Willobee, is a great addition!

And the... "bits" finally bite the dust

JL, sorry to call during Lost, hope you didn't miss cliffhanger, sorry so late and lame, probably not worth the wait: these may not be the funniest but definetly the most memorable bits:

Steaklegs: Aug 98 during hummergate, KBPI made international headlines for goofy lifestyle bit: rumor starts that there is a dangerous caymen (alligator) in the city's only lake (in a yuppie park), I conspiracize (word?) this is just a ploy to keep us stoners out of Snotty Park, my bullshit meter was high, so we duct taped steaks to my scabby fat legs and sent me into the lake live on the air baiting him "here leezard, leezard", after 2 hours of waiting for croc to make me lunch, finally I hear and feel something, freak out in front of live tv news coverage, cops wanting permit and tons of curious residents. I dropped the microphone as I said "shit", I run out of lake, scared. They evacuate everyone, authorities drain lake, find nothing but my steaks, some duct tape and portable mic I had to pay for by working weekend shifts ($2500 at $5 an hour took and hate long time to pay off, but you can't put a price on exposure, value and mileage).

The next day, George Michael gets busted in men's room park with a "glory ole" so I go out to Cheeseman Park, a homo hangout, wearing boa, playing Striesand and took hotdogs in glory hole, so we went from searching for gayman in Wash Park to gayman in Cheeseman Park in 20 hours, we were #1 that book.

Once we posed as valet and parked competitor's car, but hijacked it on air, changed all the presets and took top off and drove convertible thru car wash live on air, we were almost arrested for fraud, auto theft, larceny, property damage, tresspassing , etc.

At 'KOA in Denver, Broncos choked in 96 and needed Sunday fill ins, so I fill in at conservative Rush Limbau station, talkin' same sex benefits, "god hates fags" wacko calls up spewing hate, I lose it, had a meltdown, I say "jesus can suck my ass", smoke bible and get handcuffed and evicted from building, next day, I get promoted but had to walk in every gay pride parade for a year.

That's not as bad as Easter 2000 when Mancow had parents nail kids to a cross.

April fool's scams 98 Denver edited archived audio to hold radio theatre fake press confrence of Elway retiring, got credible media to ask questions, while old Elway cuts were placed as answers, media, team and fan went nuts, burned a bridge but it was worth it.

4/1/92 WEQX co host Mary Brace fakes a quality concert spot for Dead, Phish and other hippie bands uses 1-800-you-fool as # and a fake venue, hippies bought it and poor business in Michigan owns # and is pissed on $ from calls. Thanks KG.

4/1/02: I wasn't there but Shredd n' Ragan were hosting pet euthenasia on the air, causing a fart that still lingers in SPCA's hallways, but not as bad as KBPI's Willie B Hung getting a motard to put his cat in the microwave to get hot pussy.

'HTZ FM's screw over your ex-valentine's day thing was cool.

2 chics makin out in plane while they dump their boyfriends below them on air KPOI 93 Hawaii.

Doin' play by play of an armed crackhead breaking into my car in front of window, as I'm giving address on air calling out for help (cops), it occurs to me, I have a bag of chronic in glove box, so I say never mind, play track and chase the guy away, you can take the kid out of Detroilet but you can't take the Detoit out of the kid there's a lot of other shit, but gotta go.

Kerry Gray PD WEDG, Buffalo NY

Hey Jon - sorry, been under the weather with a nasty case of the flu this week. Just getting around to the email stuff. To answer the question du jour: Far and away, anything that Phil Hendrie does blows me away. Anything else doesn't even qualify.

Matt Sledge PD WOXY-FM, Cincinnati OH

Hangin at The Canal Club in Richmond VA
(L-R) Saliva's Josey, Y101 (WDYL) MD Dustin Matthews
and Saliva's Chris.

The Indie controversy rages on

In this weeks edition of "The Sands Report", there was coverage. Jeffrey Naumann had some very good points, and Richard will have part two for you next Wednesday. In the meantime, you just
knew that Mike Jacobs, who was one the earliest alternative Indie's, now retired and has no
qualms about telling you how he feels, would eventually show up on the "The L Files". So spew,
Mikey, spew.

List of Artists that Infinity would not be able to claim credit for , if they did not talk to Indies
(in my era), labels that did not have an in house promo staff:

No Doubt-Trauma Bush-Trauma Offspring-Epitaph Rancid-Epitaph Nine Inch Nails -TVT Moby-White Label House of Pain-Tommy Boy Nirvana-Sub-Pop AFI-Nitro

Maybe Infinity has the most to hide, so they over-react the most. "New Music First" ,...BULLSHIT...the best ones are on an Indie 70-80% of the time........Good luck takin' credit now Kevin, and I am SURE KCRW,who plays most of them first anyway, is very happy with this decision to cover your slimey tracks. Of course, when a Major picks it up, you will be there with your hand out first, and deepest. Of course, this is just off the top of my head. Any of these in your Gold category? Did they work out for you???

Mike Jacobs POMOMOFO@aol.com

Next weeks "Question of the week" is a little headier, but worthy of your input.
For all of you in Pop, Rock, Hot AC, Modern, Alternative, and Active, and other
viewers of this site...three high profile cases are going on right now. Michael Jackson,
Robert Blake, and Phil Spector. You be the judge. Guilty, or not guilty. Tell us all
what your thoughts are. Just reply on the e-mail you've been sent. It will be
facinating to see what you truly think.

February 24

George Harrison 1943-2001
Birthday's today: Michelle Shocked, Rupert Holmes, Eddie Murray, Zachery Scott 1914-1965

Wow...WPLY (Y-100) Philadelphia flips to Urban. I recieved an
instant message from Brooks Brown moments ago. I called the
station and they answer "home of R&B". Brooks (WEQX-one of the
last "real" alternative stations in the country) is long time friends
with PD Jim McGuinn. Jim was PD of 'EQX back in the early 90's.
He spoke with Jim yesterday and according to Brooks, Jim had
already taken a job as a bartender (something he has always wanted
to do) at a downtown Irish Pub. Jim and a former member of their
band Cordalene have joined another band, and Jim for now just
wants to have fun. I and many others wish Jim nothing but the best.
He's one of the "good" guys in the biz. The station flipped today.

Here is something that appeared in this morning's L.A. Times. Indie
103 owner Entrovision has been told by the FCC that they will
have to sever ties with Clear Channel as of April 1. Indie 103 put
CC one station over the limit of 8 stations in one market. As of
this writing it's unclear whether it will remain alternative. The
article does allude to a possible change in format. Guess we'll see
on April 1. Interesting the date is April fools day. The station has
been like a tick in Weatherly's (KROQ) side since they debuted
back in December of 2003. I stopped listening to Indie 103 when I
started hearing those "wow" songs like "Is Vic There" 6+ times a
week, and frankly wasn't wowed by the disjointed programming.
Kevin & Bean, and CD's suit me just fine.

The big man responds

The IM actually reads quite funny....love the "WFNX is in Lynn, right?" Hilarious. Fucker.

Max Tolkoff Program Director/Operations Manager WFNX 781.595.6200

A little bit 'o bits

Phil Hendrie funniest man on the radio. He has a call in talk show, with very controversial subjects and guests, and callers, only thing is, he voices all of them live! The show is its best when the stray real caller calls in who isn't in on the joke (how this can continue to happen day after day is a testament to radios shrinking tsl) and Phil and his crazy cast of characters let them have it.

KROQ April fools day fistfight with Thom Yorke. What sold me was the mild interview and two acoustic numbers that preceded the on air fisticuffs. Call me gullable.

Two bits I did on college radio (yes I have to go back that far to find something amusing) the first was adding a fumble and touchdown when I announced the Stanford Cal football game so Stanford won at the last second. My color commentator just stared at me and didn't say a thing, priceless. A bunch of people who were leaving the game early, but who were listening to the broadcast, came running back into the stadium to help celebrate our win.

The second was when I played a sound effects record of machine guns going off and people screaming under the live broadcast of the Palo Alto city council meeting I was forced to air in the middle of my show once a month. Unfortunately, the police didn't find it as amusing as I did, and neither did the city council when the cops burst in with guns drawn. That was my last shift at KZSU Stanford. When you do the piece on out of control interviews let me know, I got half a dozen of those, the best was an interview with Roky Erickson.

Oh lets hope Richard Sands doesn't trot out his KGAY April fools bit from KITS, cause it wasn't
as funny as he seems to think it was. (*He did Ted...scroll down the page...just kidding, it was
actually Paul Kriegler, so still scroll down the page)

Ted Taylor, Author, TV personality Los Angeles CA

Ted already has one book to his credit "Cook Your Way Into Her Pants! His second
is in pre-order now titled "Cook Your Way Into Her Stocking" (a holiday version),
and he just finished a pilot for the E Channel, based on his books. He was the
former PD at KPOI Honolulu, WLIR Long Island, and lugged Camper Van Beethoven's
equipment around the country at one time.

I've heard many great bits & have been a part of few. There isn't one that I can say is better than all the rest. A great bit is a great bit. But I'll share one story with you. It concerns the "Furby" craze of a few years back. Considering a supposed, new & improved Furby is coming out this year.

Lee Daniels was doing afternoons, I was doing nights & came in early. We were talking about how crazy the christmas shopping season was & how parents bought into the hype of the latest toys. We singled out the "Furby" as being a true spawn of Satan. We said we would like to destroy a "Furby". A listener called in & said that he had 2 & would give us one. An intern went & got a table saw. For his entire show we hyped the fact that we were going to kill the "Furby." The strange thing was that this was a brand new "Furby", just out of the box., & the entire time leading up to his demise, he would periodically stand on his toes & say "uhoh".

It was truly freaky...But we did...finally...killed...the..."Furby." There was absolute evil in that room.

Lance Hale
PD WRQC, Ft. Myers FL

I still stand by the best bit I ever heard or at least the one that has stuck with me all these yearsis the Arnold impersonator as Clark Kent/Superman changing his clothes in a public phone booth on Scott Shannon's show from the mid 80's on WABC-FM, New York. I can't even truly remember the whole thing, but I do remember the bit, so that's the important thing.

As far as my personal favorite that I did wasn't meant to be funny, although I'm sure many thought so it actually was something that drew lots of calls for months while I was doing it. This was when I was doing midday's, and there wasn't such a thing as Flashback Lunch. I tried things like the Lunch Bunch Hunch where I asked a question or played a song and then gave the winners prizes. It was fun and popular with listeners but nothing real special.

But my favorite was, one day I wanted to say something in Spanish to my audience. I called our receptionist who was of Mexican decent. I decided that she should teach me the few words I wanted to say live on-air. So we did this short bit which came out pretty much as a Spanish lesson. When it was done we both were so amused by it I said lets do this every day at noon. She agreed to, so for a few months every day at noon she taught me something new in Spanish live on-air from the front of the building. It went over huge with listeners. Doing it live on the telephone from her
desk is what gave it the natural charm.

She was real good on-air and eventually left KUPD/KUKQ to do sports broadcasting, which she had been going to school for while working at the station. So that was the end of that long running bit.

Speaking of Spanish, the day before Troy Hanson was let go when WZTA in Miami flipped from active rock/alternative to Spanish he called me, and we got into a discussion about the possibility of the station switching, although until I can reach him, I still don't have any idea if he really knew
the flip was coming the next day or not.

I know another signal has flipped to take up the void that Zeta left. But I had said to Troy that rock radio has never really done that well in the market. Its predecessor WSHE as far I can remember never was a ratings giant.

He brought up that Miami is 60% + Hispanic, Latino, etc. I agreed and said that so is Los Angeles. His take on it was that out here in Los Angeles where I live, the majority of Mexicans want to be Americanized. I said yes, that's true. He said the majority of the Spanish-speaking people that live in Miami that came from various countries don't. They want to keep their culture, hence the strong Latin presence in Miami. Hmm yes point well taken. Moral is rock and Miami don't mix well.

After our conversation I began to think that maybe more radio peeps should learn Spanish not trying to be funny but serious. Maybe it's better to be bilingual nowadays. Another weapon in your arsenal?


February 23

Johnny Winter
Birthday's today: Peter Fonda, Veronica Webb, Flip Saunders, Bobby Bonilla

Bits O' Bits (send yours...a couple of days to go)

I don't think I would exactly call this a radio "bit"...but let's just say
any communication with Max Tolkoff, the Grand Poobah of Boston
radio is always an exercise in, somewhere between heaven and hell.
With his permission, we are friends after all, I decided to print this
instant message conversation from yesterday, because I couldn't get
him on the damn phone! Oh...right...he's back in radio. Duh...I forgot.
Wait a second...WFNX is in Lynn, right?

JL: jeeesh-you are hard to get a hold of
Max: I'm in radio...what do you expect? Avoidance at all times
JL: I just called-getting tired of hearing your message
Max: just got back to my office from three hours of meetings...fuck off
JL: ugg...you in Boston?
Max: now we are off the air...so fuck off again
JL: lol-no--you fuck off, you fucking radio geek
Max: fuck off you fucking fuck...fucker
JL: lol-I got the point-fuck off
Max: now we are back on the air and I have to yell at engineering who threw us
off the air during the 5PM hour. See?
JL: go ahead--I think I'll run this IM
Max: you forget all the shit you have to do in radio
JL: no I didn't
Max: it's not just fucking telemarketing...
JL: go ahead and ream him Harry
Max: ...where all you promo goobers sit around thinking PD's are just WAITING for
your call cuz their just sitting around doing nothing like you...print that
JL: I don't even have a record (for you) other than the MP3 I sent...I was just calling
as a friend-but-nooooo-u don't have time for friends. I'm gonna print the whole thing
Max: What MP3, I don't read your e-mails...print that too
JL: "Red Bull and Vodka" by Sunny Ledfurd--sent it twice already...putz
Max: I heard it before...you're kidding, right?
JL: what did you hear before--putz?
Max: that song...it's not for us
JL: well...nice talking to you
Max: really?
JL: no...makes me want to go and punch a hole in the wall
Max: relax
Max: signed off at 2:43:41 PM

Not one word has been changed. So kids, here's a lesson...when dealing with a
person who might be in a cranky mood...just roll with it. Luv ya Maxie.

I listen to lots of other stations driving in the morning as I have quite a long commute. I get a huge kick out of Z-100 (WHTZ) Phone Taps in the morning. They are cruel, mean and everything that makes me laugh. They had one the other day where a young man called his father for money because he was grossly overcharged for a tattoo and had not the cash to pay for it so they told the father that they had handcuffed him to the chair and then offered a deal where he could do certain "favors" to make up for the cash. It was outrageous. I loved it!
Harlan Friedman PD WLIR, Long Island NY

Around 1985-ish, I was living in Houston and the new night guy at 93Q debuted. His name was Jammer. (Real name: Jay Kelly.. have no idea where he is now)...Anyway, his first night on the air he played "Pump Up the Jam" by Technotronic for 4 straight hours; his entire show from 6p -10p. The Top 8 at 8 countdown was "Pump Up the Jam" every song.. The cage match was "Pump Up the Jam" against "Pump Up the Jam".. He would put phoners on the air requesting another song and he played those into "Pump Up the Jam"... Just a funny bit that has always stuck in my mind.
Johnny Maze PD Rock 93.9 / WRXW 222 Beasley Rd Jackson, MS 39206 601.957.3000

I know this has been done by various people and in different ways, but I remember working for a station that was trying to fill a Salvation Army truck for some relief effort. Steve Ocean was the afternoon guy and he kept playing "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" on repeat (this was nowhere near christmas) unitl the truck was filled with supplies. Of course, when you do something like this, you have to get the message across and Steve really sold it between airings of the song, using multiple phone calls to keep the momentum going and challenging people to fill the truck if they wanted the song to stop. Still one of the best examples I have seen of mobilizing people and creating a buzz out of what easily could have have been another subdued charity drive.
Kevin Jackson PD WTGZ "The Tiger" 95.9/104.9 2514 S. College St. Suite 104 Auburn AL 36832 334.887.9999

THE FUNNIEST BIT EVER ON RADIO COULD be.................................. from a guy who called himself Mountain Man. Don't remember the station but his bit was about breakfast and how important it was to feed your children in the morning. He suggested "SUGAR 'LUDES!!! MAKES
. All day long, "Feed them to your kids every day!.Makes all your pains go away!". They won't be able to cause trouble he performed it as a real cereal commercial very well produced and I believe that may have been one of his last bits on that station. But it made you Rolllllllllllllllllllllllll;)
Summer James Gruvegirl Los Angeles CA

You can read the adventures of Gruvegirl on the streets by clicking on the "Always Summer"
button on left.

The Reverend Billy Griffin and Cergio and Eastview Mall during the holiday shopping season, heard on WBER.

Joey Gusto
PD WBER, Rochester NY

The "Iceman cometh" in Gainesville at WHHZ
(L-R) Mojo, CoCo, Ice T, and Leigh Scott

* by the way, Mojo spiked in Sunny Ledfurd 5 times this past week. Thanks Mojo

February 22

Drew Barrymore
Birthday's today: George Washington 1732-1799, Vijay Singh, Sparky Anderson,
Steve Irwin, Ishmael Reed, Edward M. Kennedy, Michael Chang, Julius Irving

BITS, BITS, and more BITS

Not an intentionally funny bit, but in the long run, it kinda sorta ended up that way. With the Superbowl coming up, I worked my ass off for two weeks to get an actual eagle in studio to make my official Super Bowl pick. It was a real eagle vs. a Patriot intern to see who could identify more players from their respective teams. Unfortunately, things didn't go quite as planned...


Jay Wulff, Afternoons, MD 96.1 KISS FM Poughkeepsie NY

JL - I grew up listening to WLUP in Chicago! And by far the most memorable jock
is Jonathan Brandmeir! When he'd have kids sing Metallica in the morning... fantastic! But the hardest I've laughed at radio was when he signed off the air in Chicago. It was one of the funniest speeches I've heard - followed quickly by a very sad moment. Brandmeir needs to be on everywhere! You're lucky to have him in L.A. Good Question.

Mike @ Night APD/ID/Nights WKXJ 98-1 Kiss FM Clear Channel, Chattanooga TN

I had a Eminem look a like and sent him out, and had interns fake calls on it. Had a night club set up a fake VIP room with bouncers, everyone was in on it. It made the paper.

Kobe APD/MD/PM Drive WFBC B93.7, 25 Garlington Road Greenville, SC 29615 864.241.4346

These are two of my favorite bits from a guy I'm lucky enough to work with here in Fort Wayne, Travis "Buster" Meyer....The 1st is the spoof of Devil Went Down To Georgia, called The Devil Went to Jamaica. The song is tied with Weird Al's "Eat It" for the most weeks at #1 on the Dr. Demento countdown. It has been played on radio stations all over the world, and country singer David Allen Coe has even leaked that it is him doing the song (TOTAL lie).

The second bit is a parody of Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ. Funnier than a spear in the side!

JJ Fabini Assistant Director of Programming X102 - WXTW; Z94.1 - WCKZ; FOX SPORTS 1250 - WGL; MY103.9 - WYLT; WILD96.3 -WNHT; 102.9 The River - WXKE Summit City Radio Group 2000 Lower Huntington Road Ft. Wayne, IN, 46819 260.747.1511 (Office) 260.747.3999

Two come to mind. First, about ten years ago, during the height of a controversy at Denny's restaurants concerning alleged racial discrimination toward its customers, Kevin and Bean sent out their (black) morning stunt guy with a bullhorn to a local Denny's. He then proceeded to go inside and shout out, "Hey, what's a black guy gotta do to get a cup of coffee around here?"

Second, when I was first PD at KITS-San Francisco, London and Engleman, the KMEL morning duo, did a fake bit where they'd supposedly dropped a microphone in the KITS GM's office, and mocked a fake conversation between my GM and me. it was actually quite amusing. I had the occasion to hear it again a few years ago because it lives on in immorality/infamy in an aircheck at http://www.reelradio.com/.

Richard Sands, The Sands Report Mill Valley CA

Hey JL.... Heard lots of great bits over the years. One being while I was interning with "Weasel", who's now the anchor (and he's a big fat anchor I might add) of the "Half Assed Morning Show" at KXXR, at the time though it was KEGE/93.7 The Edge. He did a bit while the Conclave was in town that year stickin all the radio peeps that were at the nudie bar rather than at their seminars and etc. Without actually just playin it, don't think it's as funny. Probably my favorite, ever though, was on an FMQB sampler awhile back. It was Mikey from KIOZ. Some of you have probably even heard it. He did a bogus commercial for "Sesame Street outtakes". It was absolutely hilarious, Ernie in the tub cussin out the production staff and etc. I was further impressed by the bit later when I actually spoke to Mikey and found out he did the entire bit himself. ALL the voices, writing and etc. Try to dig out your FMQB's and find it if you still have'em, but maybe have diapers on for when you piss yourself.

MD/Afternooner Waitt Radio Networks 1000 N. 90th St. Suite 105 Omaha,
NE 68114 Direct: 402.952.7611 AOL: toxirocker

Walter with Kasabian at XM

*The following came in late Monday evening

Hey Jonathan, sorry I couldn't get back to you today. It's a busy week here and today's a holiday so
I am kinda by myself in getting things done. I had the Futureheads in today. They're kicking off their tour here in DC tonight. They were great and sang me a liner. I had Kasabian hanging with me on the air last Friday, Le Tigre tomorrow. I have a Tegan & Sara special featuring an acoustic performance airing on Thursday.

Starting a new feature tonight, Album Liberation! Listeners vote as to which new album
they want me to unwrap and I'll play a cut from the winner all week long. In the first match,
The Mars Volta handled Doves without much problem. So it's a new track from Frances The
Mute every night this week.

I think my records ending... gotta go (lol). I'll try to call tomorrow.

Walter Flakus Music Director / On Air Fred 44 / Ethel 47 XM Satellite Radio 1500 Eckington
Place NE Washington DC, 20002-2194 202.380.4285 walter.flakus@xmradio.com

Send in your bits today! If you send an MP3...include the Http://.....
code also please so I can put it up so people can just click on it to hear.

February 21 President's Day

Jennifer Love Hewitt
Birthday's today: Jilly Cooper, Alan Trammell, Steve Francis, Nina Simone 1933-2003,
Erma Bombeck 1927-1996, Sam Peckinpah 1925-1984, Andres Segovia 1893-1987,
Ann Sheridan 1915-1967, Anais Nin 1903-1977

QUESTION OF THE WEEK: What is the best/funniest "bit" you've ever heard or
done on the radio?

The best radio bit for me was when Mark Sebastian of Q92 in Cincinnati "locked" himself in the studios and played "The Stroke" by Billy Squier for 13+ times. Over and over and over...all night long. This was when the tune was just released as a single back in 1982.

Buzz Fitzgerald Nights WBNS Columbus OH

1) K-GAY...when Live 105 in SF turned K-GAY for April Fool's Day...favorite slogan ever on the radio: "it's here, it's queer...it's in your ear...105.3 K-GAY"

2) The Regular Guys in Atlanta getting an Arnold Schwarzenegger soundalike to call a Los Angeles TV station, get through the switchboard...and this guy actually got on the air live in Los Angeles.

Paul Kriegler General Manager WCDD / WBYS 1000 E. Linn St. Canton, IL 61520 (309)647-1560

It was 1986 on the Jersey shore. I was programming an AOR (that's what we called it back in the old days) with the calls Y017. I was friends with the guys from a band out of Philly called Bricklin, who were signed to A&M Records at the time. They were Beatles fanatics. Back around the time they were shopping their demo, they had a little fun in the studio. Each member of the band picked one of the Beatles to imitate in both singing and playing style. Then they wrote an original song in the exact style of early Beatles.

They recorded it with the same precision, engineering and nuances as if it had been produced by George Martin. The song was uncanny. The first time I heard the track, I could not tell this was not the Beatles. So I decided to use the track to pull an April Fool's prank on the air. For several weeks
in March, we ran promos advertising a missing Beatles tape had been discovered and that we had secured the rights to the world premiere of "The Lost Liverpool Demo." The promos included Beatles music, drops from Paul & Ringo and record company experts excited with this new find. On the afternoon of April 1st, I did a special show playing all Beatles music, focusing on the early days.

I invited a well renowned Beatles expert Capitol Records executive Dave Dexter, who initially rejected the Beatles for Capitol, to join me on the air. It was really a Capitol promo guy playing the part. We talked up the back story and how the tape was discovered during a renovation of the attic where John Lennon had lived with his Aunt Mimi on Menlove Street in Liverpool. Then as advertised, at exactly 3 PM, we went "live" via satellite to the BBC in London. A British announcer came on with
a brief intro claiming that this "never before heard song" fell into their possession and was authenticated by EMI Records.

With permission from the three surviving Beatles, the BBC had secured the rights to air the song. We then played the 3 and a half minute song "There's A Girl." The phones went nuts. People were dying to find out where to purchase a copy of the track. Dave and I talked it up some more and did a wrap up announcing that this track would be included in a forthcoming Beatles box set.

Later that afternoon, I was contacted by a writer for one of the Jersey newspapers who did a small piece in the next day's edition on how "local radio station lands Beatles exclusive due to Program Director's relationship with the BBC." We continued to get phone calls for a few weeks after that. We never went on the air and announced that our song was an April Fool's hoax.

Willobee On the beach in Stamford CT

My personal favorite is from the Morning X at 99X/Atlanta and features Barnes posing as Jimmy Barron and ordering a large African-American male prostitute to Jimmy Barron's hotel room at the Morning Show Bootcamp in New Orleans. Of course Barnes told the person on the phone that, "I like being dominated, so be prepared for me to pretend to be surprised and not happy." That's just the set-up. The execution of the bit had Jimmy Barron answering the door in a towel and wet from being in the shower and then, after finally convincing the prostitute that it was all a mistake, opening the door to send him on his way only to find the party he was to meet for breakfast standing outside the door with their jaws dropped. It was, of course, all pre-planned and done via Jimmy Barron "after
the fact" narration, but it was executive flawlessly. Brilliant. I was late for an appointment with Kevin Weatherly because I couldn't pull myself away from listening to the bit on a CD in my car. It's on one of the Morning X best-of CDs. Harass Leslie Fram and maybe she'll send you a copy!

Jim Kerr Director of Talent & Creative Services Pollack Media Group/Dallas 1121 Beachview Street #2214 Dallas, Texas 75218 Phone: (214) 324-9060

It was the morning of April Fools Day. I was driving from Glendora to Graybar Electric Co in downtown LA, listening to KROQ's Kevin & Bean, when the dynamic duo announced the opening of what they dubbed the "largest mall in the world" now open in Orange County. After mapping out the directions and talking with "folks at the mall," I too became more interested in darting down to the 57 freeway and spending the day at what was sure to become a historical opening. Instead though, I continued on to work. My coworkers and I shared our thoughts on the new mall, listening to the radio and daydreaming about the weekend to come. We later came to learn that our shopping plans were foiled and we had been fooled, although not as extreme as the hundreds of listeners who ended up driving in circles looking for the mall that never was.

Melyssa Harmon Seattle WA

Maybe not exactly a "bit"...but a clever promotion

AM 1510 KCUV, Denver are presenting Paul Westerberg and his Only Friends at the Ogden
Theatre on March 3. So, due to Paul not being able to come by the station, those fun guys,
Zak Phillips, PD John Hayes, and Benjie McPhail are looking for a Westerberg "Replacement".
Listeners are invited to submit either a solo song or with their band. The winner will then
come into the station the day of Westerberg's show and perform their rendition of a
Replacements song live on-air. Pretty cool idea guys! By the way...the station is a blend
of "Jack", "Alice", "Bob", and elements of pop/alternative.
Check out their website www.kcuvradio.com

Send in your "bits" today!

February 20
Kurt Cobain 1967-1994
Birthday's today: Sidney Poitier, Gloria Vanderbilt, Buffy Sainte-Marie, Stephon Marbury,
Walter Becker, Ian St, John, "Poison Ivy" Rorschach, Cindy Crawford, Charles Barkley
Robert Altman, Livan Hernandez

Question of the week begins tomorrow: What is the best radio "bit"
you have ever heard, or done, on the air? There will be some
doozies I'm sure.

February 19

Benicio del Toro
Birthday's today: Amy Tan, Jackie Moore, Dave Stewart, Lee Marvin 1924-1987

UPDATE: 2:35 PM (It's pouring rain...nothing better to do)

I'm really having fun with The Velvet Rope stuff. Just a little investigating, and walla...
it's amazing. First let me say I have no interest in joining, nor posting anything on there.
I feel after looking at it, it's sad that the majority are persons who say either ridiculous or
harmful things about people, while hiding behind their computer. At least I say what's on my
mind and name names if need be.

To DevilsAdvocate...I know exactly who you are, and I feel that you posted my Cagle thing
not to belittle me in any way. I read all about you and I wish you well. I hope things are
getting better for you too. I won't mention your name because you seem to be on "the Rope"
a lot and are quite intelligent on your posts. We were pretty friendly as I recall.

Todd Everett, self described "disgruntled
former employee" and his hobbies are "finding music related errors in movies and
TV shows". Todd, adjusting my article was fine with me...but calling me an "idiot"
wasn't good. You live in the same neighborhood as me, so I feel the chances of me
running into you are pretty high. Then, call me an "idiot" you sorry sack of shit. Here's
his website, enjoy http://www.toddeverett.net

As for you Maxx...the post about me was the first post you've made since 2003. You are
located in Century City, hmm, Radio & Records territory. You posted about the passing of
of Jan Basham, which was very sad about a fine person who was taken too young. But, in
your post mentioning only about less than two dozen persons from the industry showed
up, including Lenny B and Kenny Ryback, pretty much leads me to you. Throw in the
Riccki Rachtman post and I'm almost there. I'm 99% sure who you are. If you were using
the Cagle piece to actually vent about Farber, referring to me as "one bitter, hollier than
thou, ex-Cagle employee. Boo Hoo"...why didn't you just step up to the plate and send
me an e-mail for post here on this site where it belongs...not on "The Rope". There is still
that 1% so I won't say who you are until I'm 100% sure. How sad...I thought we were
"friends". I can handle anything you want to say to me. Next time don't do it on the "The
Rope" where so many losers reside. That is of course if you are indeed who I think you are?

Wow...Cagle...you have a couple of friends out there.

Well...maybe? I was checking out the stats for today for this site, and I noticed a
viewer was referred by The Velvet Rope. I've never been on it...never seen it, and find it
curious that someone posted my piece from Monday about Cagle. That would be
DevilsAdvocate/Diamond member/Tinseltown. Then some scumbag named teverett/
Diamond member/Los Feliz-adjacent decides to call me an idiot and restructure the piece.
That is followed by Maxx/member/Century City says "poor JL radio" (it's Radio), I
come across as "one bitter, hollier than thou, ex-Cagle employee. Boo Hoo".

First, let me say thanks to DevilsAdvocate for spreading the JL Radio website. To you
teverett, you can call me an idiot behind your computer. You wouldn't to my face. You
obviously sucked Cagle's dick...I saw you under his desk one day. Oh...and Maxx...
you took it up the ass. Ok...now that we have all the name calling out of the way...you have
my url and you can find my e-mail address. Be a man/woman and directly tell me and my
readers what you really think. I almost can figure out who you are...really.

Welcome Hot AC panel to the community. Look around the site and you will find info that is
useful regardless of format. Lots of search things such as lyrics, Mojam's live concert
listings, even the above world clock. Click on it and it will give you real time in over a hundred
or so countries. There is plenty more...so please explore. Feel free to participate whether it
is a question of the week or open forum. Next week I will be adding the entire Top 40 panel
also. Music is music...the way I look at it. Have fun...JL

Number One of the year! The award goes to...WOXY.com

That's INTERNET radio station of the year, according to PLUG Independent Music Awards! ( Winners list here: http://www.plugawards.com/award_winners.php ) In doing so, we won over some pretty recognizable stations; KCRW.org, KEXP.org, 3WK, etc.. Here we are barely 6 months into cranking this baby back up, and now this. We would have even went to the awards had we known we were gonna win, but that's only part of the good news here: Let me give you a quick update of what's happening at The Future Of Rock And Roll: - SIDE CHANNEL: THE HISTORY OF MODERN ROCK WOXY.COM is this close to rolling out a side channel to compliment our (can I say 'award-winning'?) main webcast. We're flexing the muscle of our music library to unleash a comprehensive channel of nearly anything and everything "Modern Rock" from the late 60's through the mid 90's with a heavy emphasis to '77 - '91: VU, Pistols, Clash, Heads, Cure, REM, Femmes, Replacements, and so on. I'm heading up this project myself and I can tell you, it's gonna be Huuuge! (final name still pending, btw) - WOXY.COM @ SXSW we're partnering with Karma Download to throw a Texas-size bash at the Blind Pig Pub on St. Patty's Day, March 17th in Austin. In the spirit of the day, an Irish band will headline...check it: The Frames (anti-) The National (beggars banquet) Earlimart (palm) Feist (interscope) Giant Drag (wichita) Nicholai Dunger (overcoat) The Cribs (wichita) So OK, we're having a party...us and a ton of others...but we'll be WEBCASTING THE WHOLE EVENT LIVE ! Embracing the new technology, we are. It won't matter if you're in Anchorage, Anaheim or Aberdeen...it'll seem like you're in Austin for a great day of music. Yee-haw Go Braugh!

WOXY.COM LOUNGE ACTS blessed are we to have had some outstanding performances in our studio, most recently: Low, Mosquitos, Shesus, and soon The Kills, Heartless Bastards. It's been gratifying to have labels reach out to us & trying to arrange to get their bands in here, aside from our own wish list. If YOU have an act coming anywhere near our Cincinnati studios & would be interested in having your band play to a worldwide audience of upwards of 3000 listeners at once, please holla. SO MUCH MORE.... to say, but that's enough for now. Our audience has never been bigger & has been growing daily. Internet radio is happening, my friend. Don't get left behind. I no longer send out regular, weekly e-mails of our new adds & playlist info. Our MD Matt Shiv handles that so if you'd like to get on that list, let me know. Yours In Great Radio
Mike Taylor Program Director WOXY.COM Cincinnati, Ohio 513.621.0012

Phoenix institution is closed!

http://www.masonjarlive.com I was checking to see if they added New Model Army to the calendar and found this unfortunate news. I'm not sure of the details yet, but am greatly saddened to hear this news. Anyone that has been part of the Phoenix music scene, and even beyond knows of the Mason Jar. For decades it has been a stable provider of live music, local music support, and even more importantly doing everything in their power to offer "ALL AGES" events in a safe environment. I have been to several memorable shows there, so many I can't even remember what the first show I saw there was... Well, I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
Kristoffer in Phoenix P.S. Looks like NMA has been moved to the Big Fish Pub.

This is an update from last week. Very sad news. For my 9 years in Phoenix and even
before I moved up from Tucson...The "Jar" was always the place to be, regardless of
how scuzzy of a club it was. The LA date Kristoffer mentioned last weekend still stands.
That is two music landmarks that have closed in recent weeks. Club Rio just a few weeks
ago closed their doors.

February 18

Yoko Ono
Birthday's today: Matt Dillon, Helen Gurly Brown, Milos Foreman, Shawn Estes,
Toni Morrison, Sholom Aleichem 1859-1916, Wendell Wilke 1892-1944

End...so it goes...the forum is closed.

Here you go. I think it's fairly provocative for a "consultant piece." Jim Kerr

Contemporary Rock Radio Formats in Crisis

Legendary rock radio stations are falling by the wayside. In the last three months, major market stations like KSJO, KLOL, WHFS, and this week WZTA have all changed formats. According to the New York Daily News, rock is wheezing. The Washington Post recently chimed in and stated that rock radio is crumbling. It is tempting to dismiss these proclamations as just one more round of the Is rock dead? debate, a refrain we've all heard numerous times in the past. But this time things seem different. Rarely has the underlying framework of the rock genre and radio formats that rely on it been in such a precarious position. The recently released fall Arbitron ratings paint a bleak picture for rock radio. A vast majority of stations saw their ratings slide, and, in many cases, the slide was significant. The best rock format in the fall was Classic Rock, and even that format saw 47% of its stations drop in the ratings. Classic Rock and classic hits had their troubles, but it's a far cry from the devastation seen at contemporary rock formats: well over half the Alternative and Active Rock stations were down. Certainly there are plenty of excuses that can be thrown around to explain away the fall book: It was a news/talk book with the election and hurricanes in Florida. Rock formats never do well in fall. The Christmas music formats just kill rock radio. And so on. These are, indeed, factors that affected all radio in the fall book, but it isn't quite so easy to explain why they are affecting rock radio much more significantly than other formats. There is something else going on. You can put part of the blame on Arbitron having difficulty reaching 18-24 year old and 25-34 year old men. There are also questions about whether stations are defining their music research parameters too narrowly. Certainly, some of the decline is due to an evolving media landscape that affects contemporary rock formats first. You can also blame the music. But the most significant reasons for the rock radio's decline are self inflicted.

Alternative Radio

Alternative radio, the darling format of the nineties, may now be the poster child for rock's decline. The format book-ended the nineties with two powerful and galvanizing music trends: grunge from 1991 to 1996 and harder rhythmic rock that first hit in 1999. But ever since Kid Rock and Fred Durst became better known for who they're dating than the music they have released, the Alternative format has seen its relevance decline every year. In the past, the Alternative format was able to ride one musical trend to another, turning on a dime as it leveraged its currents to maximum effect. Alternative radio may see swing music as a somewhat embarrassing legacy of its recent past, but swing music kept Alternative relevant and fun for the summer of 1999. The seeds of Alternative's decline were planted in 2000-2001, when hard rock became a true music trend of real power. This trend, however, was one that Alternative radio had to battle another format for: Active Rock. The result was that Alternative stations across the country gave up any semblance of balance and became de facto Active Rock stations. As harder rock music started to lose steam, Alternative radio found itself without the anchor that sustained it since the 90s: A mass-appeal center of pop-based rock songs. This led directly to many Alternative radio stations fleeing the hard rock position entirely and moving into a much more Alternative and indie music base, a reactionary movement that represented everything the format shed in the early 90s deep tracks by unfamiliar bands, a reliance on gold, uninspired production, and jocks that are musicologists and not entertainers. Alternative looked to the future and saw 1988. Today, the situation is so bad that Alternative radio has become more and more gold-based, sadly trying to recapture the past more than evoke the excitement of the future. But, with a gold library that only goes back fourteen years, a reliance on gold is a tenuous long-term strategy. Even worse than a reliance on tenuous gold, however, is the inability of Alternative radio to learn from its mistakes. Alternative programmers were burnt so badly by the Active Rock crossover music that they have reacted too far in the other direction, ignoring the kind of mass-appeal hits that defined Alternative for over ten years. When programmers proudly state that they won't play Staind on their radio station, when Staind has the number one song in the country, the only word that is applicable is overreaction. For all that, the Alternative format isn't dead. Simply remembering the lessons of the past rather than just playing the music of the past would be a huge first step. Here are some other keys to the revival: 1) Musically, restoring a sense of balance to the Alternative format is a must. Focusing solely on indie music is simply the same mistake that the format made in 2000, only from the opposite direction. The question shouldn't be what is and what isn't Alternative. It should be what is the great new music that 21-34 year-old listeners want to hear. For instance, when the new Coldplay CD comes out shortly, will Alternative programmers concede it to Hot AC stations? Why impose an arbitrary litmus test on what is considered real Alternative music rather than letting the audience decide? In essence, this means that Alternative has to return to its nineties mass-appeal roots. Alternative radio has to be a big tent, welcoming a wide range of mass-appeal styles and sounds. It's the only way to maintain and grow the format's dwindling cume while also best preparing the format for the next big thing. 2) At the same time, Alternative radio has to be aware that its core sound has always been mass-appeal pop rock. If not enough great new music exists today, then it certainly makes sense to embrace more gold, but these decisions need to be made within the context of a longer term strategy. Alternative is a contemporary format, and a gold-based approach is a short-term band-aid, not a long-term solution. 3) Alternative has dramatically changed its music since 2000, but the production is the same. Now, some stations that have tried to make a change have overreacted and stripped out all of the entertainment value. There is no excitement, no pizzazz, and very little of what this approach is purportedly trying to sell: sincerity. Ironically, the real lesson to be learned is from the Jack stations, where humor and the ability to poke fun at one's self have created the most compelling imaging of the past few years. The cutting edge of imaging used to be the sole possession of Alternative radio. How sad is it that a gold-based Hot AC format has replaced rock's most daring practitioners?

Active Rock Radio

Active Rock, which faces many of the same problems as Alternative, can at least say that it has been consistent. Throughout the nineties, Active Rock struggled with how to deal with a dizzying array of Alternative sounds that just didn't seem to fit the narrow Active Rock world. From ska to lilith to swing, Active Rock could never find itself comfortable enough to play in the Alternative radio sandbox. This strategy paid off in 2000 when Active Rock took advantage of a new music style that was right in the middle of its musical sweet spot. The trouble is that being successful in this focus covered up the long-term problem that had been nagging the format throughout the nineties: its inability to broaden its sound enough to remain mass-appeal outside of its gold. While the gold library gives Active Rock radio more tried and true classics to lean on, the new music typically worked by labels to Active Rock radio has been, and continues to be, too narrowly defined. This format will not be around in 3 or 4 years if it doesn't quickly get away from the narrowly defined parameters of the Active Rock formula. The prescription for Active Rock is simple, embrace the big tent:

1) First of all, we need to abandon the fake boundaries that are limiting Active Rock radio's ratings growth. This myopic view has become so damaging that many think that a name change for the format is in order. Active Rock has a connotation of a format that is too hard and too narrow for its own good. Active Rock should just be rock. Play the genre not the format. 2) In this regard, just as we recommend a big tent music philosophy for Alternative radio, we suggest the same for Active Rock radio. Every competitive market situation is different. If you have a large number of rock stations in your market the Law of Category still applies if you can't be first in a category create a new category to be first in. But this has two important subtleties:

* If everyone is narrow, being broad is a legitimate category. Once again the Jack stations have illustrated this all too well. This is not to say you should be broad, but know that it is a legitimate choice.

* Similarly, if your market gives you a wider playing field than elsewhere, why not take what you can? If your competitive situation is more wide open there is no need to be narrowly confined by label and industry format boundaries.

3) Look beyond the standard fare. To prove our point that the industry definition of Active Rock is just too narrow, we went back over the past year and found only 10 really essential songs among all the songs that were label priorities at Active Rock in 2004. This pales by comparison to Hip/Hop formats, where sometimes four or five great new tracks appear in one week. This state-of-affairs requires Active Rock programmers to throw off the artificial boundaries, think Big Tent, and when a band like The White Stripes, Muse or the Killers releases an excellent track, irrespective of whether or not it's being worked at Active Rock, give it a shot. Otherwise, you may only get 10, 12 or maybe 15 essential tracks again this year.

4) Big tent does not mean play everything or to be the same as everyone else but all successful Active Rock stations share a wider Big Tent philosophy. These stations look for big cume and are not niche players. Rock radio is in critical shape, but its condition isn't terminal. Contemporary rock stations just have to remember to shed their self-imposed limitations and build the big tent.

Pollack Media Group www.pollackmedia.com

I agree...I disagree...I agree...I disagree...I don't know, this is a lot of words :)-LOL


It was as always a pleasure speaking to you today. As we were discussing the new rules put forth by some broadcast companies about not speaking to indies, all I want from them right now is some answers to some very basic questions.

However I have yet to speak to anyone at these companies that can give me clear answers.

As a business person, self employed, I am certainly concerned that they are hindering my chance to make an honest living. Yes I do mean honest. I know that if a major radio advertiser , such as a McDonalds or Pepsi suddenly decided to not do business with one of these radio companies, without any explanation, there would be a lot of noise and most likely a lot of lawsuits taking place. I don't want to sue anyone I just want an explanation. I represent for the most part independent artists and small independent labels. They do not have a staff to promote themselves or their artist. I am their voice. All I am asking is for the opportunity to speak to the Programmers and Music directors of the stations and tell them about the artist and the music. I am not offering promotions for adds, I am not offering any incentive other than the chance to be involved in furthering a talented artist career by playing their record. If you don't like the record or it doesn't fit, tell me that. But at least give me the outlet to do that. The silence is deafening. I thank my lucky stars every day that I have been able to work with great AAA stations, commercial and non comm., who I speak to every week and show such great passion for music. They make it great to get up every day and head to the basement and work.

But I am also disappointed that every week, there are people I have known for years and that I can no longer speak to. What also is sad, is that many of these people are friends. We talk about more than just music. We talk about family, sports, getting fat, the same things anyone talks about. I have hired many independents over the years and the vast majority are hard working, passionate people. Now that I am one, I have not only a new found respect for what they/ we do, but it has also rejuvenated me. I get to be involved with music and artists I love and want to work with.

There are many artists that owe a certain amount of their success to independent promotion people. Because, lets be honest, how many times was the label ready to write the artist off had it not been for the hard work of these people So why banish a very important part of the music industry without a real explanation or at least some guidelines. So answer me this someone, How does the artist on a label with no promotion staff get their record promoted to the decision makers? How does the label with no promotion staff get a fair shake from the radio stations? How does the artist with no label promotion staff get radio involved when he/she is on tour? Hmmm, if I wanted to buy a flight of spots for one of the artists I am working, are you going to refuse to talk to me or take my money because I am an independent? If I wanted to buy a banner on your website, is that not allowed because I am an independent?

Is it just independent record promoters or is it all independents?

What about independent or contract engineers for the station? What about other outsourced people that you work with/ Or for that matter that you hire? Are you still dealing with ad agencies that represent a number of clients or are you now only speaking directly with the advertiser. Because having been a programmer at radio I remember a lot of favors going back and forth with the agencies to get buys from specific advertisers. ( but I admit to having been in radio for awhile so maybe those practices don't exist anymore) Are you represented by an ad agency who promotes your station/ company to a variety of potential advertisers? Hmm sounds like an indie to me? What if one of the artist I am working is coming to town and the station wants involvement. I am the person they need to speak to are they going to call me? Is that the plan don't call us , we'll call you? I could go on and on, but my guess is that no one is going to answer these questions any time soon.

I would like to ask all of these programmers and music directors how many times did an independent record promoter help you out in getting tickets to shows for your station, help solve problems with the labels, assist in getting bands for your shows, even something as simple as getting you cd's for the station when the label had decided your market was too small to get involved with? They were your voice to the major labels. Ok , I have gone on long enough. I love what I do, and I love speaking to radio every week. Yes you can make me frustrated, but mostly I enjoy just talking to you about anything. I like the laughs. I like hearing about what new records you have heard. I just want to be able to keep doing what I love to do. I am not pointing fingers. You may have a very legitimate reason for this policy. If so, I respect your decision. But I can't respect it under the No questions asked no questions answered policy. This is my livelihood. This is what supports my family and my children. I will fight for that.

In the end I just want someone at any of these companies to answer my questions. Then I will leave you alone until I have a record you need to be playing then I will find away to get to you even if I have to stand outside of your station in a thong and with a sign( and you really don't want that now do you)
Jeff Appleton Marathon Entertainment 3043 Herd Rd Metamora, MI 48455 jeffappleton@marathonentertainment.biz 810.797.2287 810.797.2288 IM-jammedup3

What's pissing me off all about this is that small to mid size labels are being shut out. So
company's only want to deal with major labels? That's complete bullshit. Yep, restraint
of trade! Not allowing people hired to do the job they were hired to do. I smell some
lawsuits coming if this doesn't blow over soon. Many more people are going to be out of work.
I understand the the broadcast companys cowering down to the FCC investigations...but
regrow some balls...will ya! Jeff, I remember back in the mid-nintie's when I took off a year
of full-time radio and did promotion and KROQ's Gene Sandbloom said to me nicely..."Jon,
if you have a record on MCA...please don't bring it up, I already have 3 others from the label
talking to me...but...if you have a smaller label, by all means let's talk about it." I said
sure...no problem. Now..that was fair...but what's going on now is unjust and warrants
an upheavel! The programmers, at least some, are embaressed that they can't speak
with people such as you and I...and many others trying to make a living the honest way!
The most important thing to remember...small labels don't have a staff, that's why they
hire subcontracters to help them...you knuckleheads! I wonder if Mel was still there if
there would have been a better defination as opposed to a complete shutout?

A good lead in... so I think I'll pimp the artist I'm working to radio right now.

Sunny Ledfurd

I have a great morning show/afternoon drive show song for you. I'm not pushing for
"adds"...all I want you to do is play it and see the reaction. Remember Rupert Holmes
song "Pina Coloda"? Well, Sunny does "Red Bull & Vodka". It's from the album "Imported
Sounds From North Carolina". I'm only sending MP3's...so ask for me for your copy, and
also check out the website at www.sunnyledfurd.com
If you do play it...please e-mail me when you did and how many times. That's not asking
very much...right? Stations dabbling as of this writing; WPBZ West Palm Beach, KRAB
Bakersfield, and KUCD Honolulu. More to come.

Her Two Cents!

Well here goes...my two cents is the sad state of 1) Programmers who don't trust their seasoned jocks to put on a great show within the parameters of the format..

Margie, some still do...you wanna find out who they are? Naw...it would take up years trying to find them all.

2) As someone else on this site mentioned, the lack of drive/sleep/motivation of the "up and coming talent" to give all they have to get started in this business. Back to number 1...O.K., granted in the "old days" many of us abused the old card file method of picking songs for our shows..we saw a song we hated, we dug a few cards back for the particular category. For the "hot" formats, where new songs MUST be played every 2-3-4 hours, digging is not acceptable. Same goes for recurrents. BUT my beef is with Rock radio..I mean COME ON... we are gonna be in the "golden oldies" AM radio dust pile if we don't do something to make it more interesting than Stairway to Heaven. Programmers are SO freaked out by corporate that they won't take chances with anything. Let's face it, any station that plays music that the 30+ audience will listen to CAN take some chances...be it current music or a "oh WOW" tune. The MAJOR exception...jocks without a proven ratings/research track record. Programming HAS to start coming up with more promotions that sound GREAT on the radio, not just for a client. And #2..Those of us in the biz 15+ years know, as my first P.D. Jim Ray put it.."radio isn't a job, it's a lifestyle." I could write a book, suffice to say my 1st 3 years in radio I NEVER had a day off; when I wasn't on the clock I was watching someone else on the air, in the production studio, helping with research..ad naseum. Anyone that wants to get on the air and be SUCCESSFUL must be ready to deal with the reality, or go work at Circle K or get a degree in Quantum Physics. I feel much better now.... Margie Rye KLPX Tucson margierye@worldnet.att.net

Note to Name witheld for fear of reprecussions...someone noticed your plight.

February 17

Denise Lee Richards
Birthday's today: Michael Jorden, Luc Robitaille, Mary Frances Berry, Sir Alan Bates 1934-2003

Yes, the open forum is still...open

The Public defender

I must reply to your comments about Jacqueline Saturn. She is an awesome person. I don't know what your relationship with her is like, but based on the series of events you described, I can only say that if she ever said bad things about you to Gerry Cagle you probably deserved it because she's not one to throw around things lightly. Perhaps you got under her skin or something once. It happens sometimes between people, no big deal. Just let it go and move on. That said, whatever was in that "file" on you, I sincerely doubt that anything she said was out of line or classless. It's not her style. It's also not like her to hold a grudge. I am sure she probably doesn't even give it much thought. If you want to call out the actions of bad people, that's one thing. But Jacquie is one of the good ones. Lenny LaSalandra Combat Rock Promotions, Los Angeles CA

I admire you sticking up for a friend Lenny. Saying I "probably deserved it" wants me to smack you upside your head bro. But...again...you are a "nice" guy, and I fully understand your response...after one read. I suggest you should read it again. *And...so he did. What follows an instant message back and forth after this e-mail.

Lenny: ok, I re-read it. So it went like this: Farber: a couple of labels raised a red flag with me
about hiring you. Do you have any idea whom? Want to give me a name?
JL: Jacqueline
Lenny: ok, now I see what you were saying. You weren't slagging Jacquie per say, you just
thought she might be the one who raised a red flag to Farber?
JL: correct
Lenny: well, with that in mind, what I meant to say was, whatever your issues with Jacq in the
past, I don't see her being the kind of person who would take it even further & take those issues
& keep you from getting a job. What did Farber say when you brought up Jacq's name? (I tried
to find that in the re-read,but couldn't)
JL: she just smiled at me, and then asked why-and I said that thing about selling all those
Lenny: well...this is where it gets a little muddy. Did Farber confirm it was Jacquie? A smile
is not admissable in court!
JL: lol-ok
Lenny: and that said...did Jacquie call her personally or was Farber going off Cagles' "file"?
JL: I'll never know-unless someone shows or confirms it.
Lenny: if there was more specific info, I'd say ok...but there's a lot of heresay in this
JL: what-are you Perry Mason?
Lenny: nah...I'd make a terrible lawyer. I'm too honest
JL: lol
Lenny: you were the one who asked me to re-read the situation, so YOU opened the door for
me to ask questions. You gave me the greenlight to be Perry Mason
JL: yep
Lenny: glad we got that settled
JL: good-me too

So..ok...after being grilled like a cheese sandwich...it still stands what I wrote...nothing
changes on my end...Lenny can sleep tight knowing he defended Jacqueline's honor. I
suggest to anyone..when you read something...always read it again and again until you
really come to a firm conclusion before reacting. That goes for anything you read
anywhere anytime.

Why would I want to piss anyone off? Really?

Hi, I have two suggestions on topics....and I'm sure you can really piss people off by this. 1. Ratings.....have they truly gotten better since the format quit playing so much current music?
(would love to hear feedback on that)

This question is for all you programmers out there, not me. My humble answer would be
that radio has created it's own robotic listening habits where only X amount of songs exist
to listeners. They don't know all the other music available to their ears that they will
most likely never hear. I am not talking about people that don't just rely on radio...they
find other music from many other sources. If anyone has an intellegent answer to this
please come forward.

2. Kinda goes hand in hand with.......why do we pass up so many talented worthy young bands now a days? Relationships with labels? Promotions? Corporate PD's? I honestly do not want to participate in this....( I don't believe I think like most of them), would just love to see where some PD's are coming from when it comes to music and why they play what they play and leave some bands alone when it's clearly a hit. Next thing ya know the band is touring successfully from hard work and then we all want a piece of it.
Name witheld by request (major market programmer)

I think I will stay away from this question, I'll withold my feelings by request.

The real Brian Jones still lives on, and rolling stoned

Here's something I thought you would be interested in checking out on my site: http://www.shala.com/brian_jones.htm Robert Allen Shala Music , New Jersey

Very cool stuff Robert.

Yeah..and take that!

Here's all I have to say. Death Cab For Cutie's cover of "World Shut Your Mouth" on the b-side
of the radio single "Title And Registration" is AWESOME! 3 night champ of our 9:00 Cockfight so far.
Austin Davis WUBZ 1884 Port Matilda Highway Radio Park Philipsburg, PA 16866 Call times: Wednesdays 10am-Noon EST at 814.342.2300

An excited programmer. Good to know there are still some out there discovering new
stuff on their own. Of course...the original was done by Julian Cope.

Arizona Bound

OK, here's my question: My girlfriend and I are planning a vacation. A lot of people we know have been vacationing in southern Arizona. So, we're considering doing the same in the next few weeks. Not looking to play any golf, just a place where it is warm, go for a swim and be in a reasonable driving proximity to explore other areas. Can you suggest any resorts that we should check out? Scott Lowe B104 Allentown, PA

Yes I can Scott. In the Tucson area you might try the well known Westward Look Resort at
www.westwardlook.com and in the Phoenix area it would have to be the Arizona Biltmore. You also might want to check into the Sedona area. A pretty magical place. Just do a web search on Sedona.

Tired of speaking to lousy tech support??? Of course you are.

You have to check this out. Another funny look at the tech support world. Thanks to
Victor Lentini for sending this. http://crapshoot.tv/sd2.html

February 16

Sonny Bono 1935-1998
Birthday's today: John McEnroe, Jerome Bettis, Charley McCarthy (Edgar Bergen) 1903-1978

Open Forum Chronicles continue


First off, will relocate and work for food!! Now that that is over with, but still on the subject ... for crying out loud call back those who sent you a package when you posted a job. At least send an e-mail. Most of us can handle a rejection letter, and we won't bother you any more. Professional courtesy. Cops do it all the time. Don Kelley New Mexico

Don, I think we all can handle rejection...but the unprofessional part I totally agree with.
Simple logic would be for that person to respond...but many don't live by logic.

Now to prove I am not-one dimensional, if not given the funds for research, what would you do to make sure the music you were playing was right on for your market? Where would you go? What would you do (Scarlett)? Aside from looking at soundscan after the fact? Peace. Don Kelley New Mexico

I can tell you where to go...straight to your gut feeling. Oh, wait...owners/GM's don't trust that...do they? And that was when radio was cool...and...blah...blah...blah. Anyone out
there care to answer that question?

Is rejection a touchy subject?

Here's a touchy subject. Since I have been in the job search mode, I would like to vent about something relevant. Aside from spending time and money sending out packages, we go through an elaborate interview process in which we are asked to jump through many hoops. The process includes the basic application, answering involved questionnaires, submitting format specific research and programming philosophies, writing station specific programming and marketing proposals, several oral interviews and finally the time consuming fly-in for a face to face meeting and tour of the facilities.

The process which could be spread over a few weeks, has consumed quite a bit of time, energy and effort. At the end of the day, you wait in anticipation for a well deserved answer. No matter if the answer is favorable or not, at this point you at least expect to hear some word one way or another. And you wait, and wait, and then you read in the trades that the job has been filled. When someone has busted their ass to show their sincerity and talents in seeking employment, not getting a simple letter or personal phone call to let you know the outcome is annoying, rude, unprofessional and just plain discourteous. People in positions of power who exhibit this behavior don't deserve to be called professionals. Willobee Hartford CT

Wow...what a lead in for me to tell my story. I handle rejection maybe more than most. Most of my career has incorporated rejection, so I'm kind of hardened by it. What I don't accept are unprofessional decision makers. Soooo...I'll give a blow by blow description of my recent rejection...which was totally unprofessional.

I feel for ya Will. I'm sure many of you out there have undergone the same painful process of both Will and Don. You out there can respond to this. Because you can relate to it.

This past Sunday I was raving about Scott Lowe's package. It was magnificent yet I wonder if all the people he sent it to was looked at and listened to?

I recently had an experience with unprofessional-ism. It had been years that I had to undergo the interview process. The last in 1995, although that company wanted me so it was just a formality. But prior to that it would be 1988 at KUPD. So I am not really a pro at going for interviews. When Max Tolkoff announced to me back in September of last year he was going back to radio, he said I should go after the Alt editor gig at R&R. I thought about it and decided I would. He told me to put my ego on the shelf and lobby hard for it. There was something about she likes persistence.

I was called in for an interview almost immediately. I felt the interview went very well. It lasted an hour. There were some curious questions she raised with me though. One was, did I know how to read Arbitron? Excuse me Ms. Farberyou have my resume right in front of you duh yeah, I had 14 years of radio programming. (I didn't say it out loud I was thinking it.) I said nicely, yes I had 14 years of programming and I know Arbitron inside and out. To recover, she asked me about some software that Arbitron uses. Did I know how to operate it? I replied, no but I'm sure if someone shows me the software I would pick it up quickly. Another was whether I had any relationship with Jacobs Media? I replied, yes Bill had tried to hire me back in 1993 at The Edge in Phoenix I had spoken with Paul a couple of times and I know Dave Beasing pretty well and have the highest respect for him. That wasn't a bad question on her part it was actually a good one.

The one that really comes off bad, depending on what way you want to look at it, was a couple of labels raised a red flag with me about hiring you. Wow a bazooka. (Make an explosion sound!) I looked her in the eyes, didn't get nervous, and just responded naturally, well I'm sorry to hear that. She then slid another bomb inside the bazooka and fired away again. Do you have any idea whom? Want to give me a name? I quickly popped out that maybe...Jacqueline Saturn? See Saturn had said bad things about me to Cagle, according to him 3 years ago that went into my file. To this day I don't know the content of what she said or why she and I never jived although in defense of both of us we did try. I only know she tried to hurt me because they told me so. I really don't know if it was her coming back to haunt me again with Ms. Farber? If she did then she has a major problem. I haven't seen nor spoken with this person in 3 years. I take that back, maybe at a convention or show where we gave each other the obligatory phony hug. I summed up Farber's question with I've sold millions of dollars for my past company and I'm sure there has to be some out there that were getting tired of me selling them each week for years. Hey I don't blame them. My last year I was bullied into stepping it up, as well as any of us selling the different formats. I still think the question was bullshit, but I suppose she had to ask it anyway.

Okay, that was the interview process. Next up was the near month long wait, until she finished the interview process. I knew most of the names, and I'm sure there were many I didn't. In the meantime I'm speaking with Kevin Weatherly, Sean Demery, Dave Beasing, and e-mailing Leslie Fram, Jim McGuinn, Phil Costello and many others lobbying for the gig, as Max had warned me to. In the end it was a friend who got the gig. Kevin Stapleford, who is a nice guy, writes well and had one thing I didn't. He wasn't a threat to Ms. Farber.

I mean lets face it (now my ego is back off the shelf), I was. I have so much experience and background, I could do her job standing on my head! Not getting the job did not get me upset at all. It was the complete act of unprofessional-ism on her part that did. The day Max left on October 8th; I e-mailed her to remind her I was still very much interested. She had already made her decision anyway. What really set me off was getting an instant message from a label person the following Monday afternoon that Kevin had got the gig, which by this time I had figured he would. Did I intimidate her? I don't care who applied none had the background to handle it more than me.

Okay so maybe I was overqualified, but do the right thing and at least inform me personally. That was politically incorrect on her part not to and to compound things worse, two weeks later I get the standard Human Resources letter. Thanks for blah blah..blah. In the end I thank you Ms. Farber. You woke up the creative bear in me that had lain dormant. HenceJL Radio on the Internet, where I actually feel more comfortable anyway. I like to help people, and I also like to have the freedom of speech, to not run amok, but to explain to all the readers on how some things really work or go down in the industry I love.

Kevin I am happy for you for real. But I do have a question for you. I saw Cyndee, Ken, and Farber at The Prom Kings shindig a couple of weeks ago. Where were you? The band is going at both rock and alternative. These are things you need to be at. For real. A friend giving a friend advice.

Jeff...I think they disagree with you about your Grammy post.

Hey Jon... Was reading Jeff from WZNE's take on this years Grammys....and would like to add a couple of quick things...first....if you didn't see Melissa Etheridge's performance.....which was to me, hands down, by far, both one of the ballsiest, breathtaking and, in way, heartbreaking (the ravages of chemo are really ugly) things I've ever seen.....you can watch it here... ....http://www.cincheetah.com/melissaetheridge.html -- and if you don't feel it...hell, if you can't feel that, I can't help you....also...Green Day did indeed rock, big time, and watching Jack White be so humbled to be in the presence of Loretta Lynn was great...and his comment about country radio not playing anything off of Van Lear Rose was a nice little shot as well....and finally....Mavis Staples can pretty much wipe the floor with anyone around her...it was great seeing her, but in my opinion...she didn't need to be trading lines with anyone...you can't improve upon perfection. Nan Fisher, Nan Fisher Promotions, Atlanta GA

We all have our little gripes about the Grammy's over the years, most of which I think are silly gripes. Seems most of the time it's just "harshed personal opinions" I seem to enjoy the show and awards each and every year, watching on TV. (One day before I pass on, perhaps I'll make it in person).

Responding to what Jeff Sottolano at The Zone said in a previous post, I actually thought this year's show was pretty damn impressive, all around. Was nice to see and hear more of a "rock" presence than has been there the past 3 - 4 years. I thought the opening performance was pretty cool. Strange that Maroon 5, a good "new band" who made quite an impact over the years, (key word, YEARS). This Best New Band winner released the album they were praised for almost 3 years ago, (following the change of direction from their days known as Kara's Flowers). Last I checked, this award goes to an artist who RELEASES, during the eligibility year, the first recording which establishes the public identity of that artist. REPEAT, the album came out in 2002. I did have to scratch my head at Jeff's U2 quote, "(performing a song that hasn't hit the radio yet)." Well, Jeff that song HAS hit the radio, looking at BDS, it's all over the country, and I've been hearing it here in NYC for a few weeks now. As I sat there, I said to my wife, I KNOW they won't do "Vertigo" or "All Because Of You." It was kinda silly that the Lifetime Achievement Awards were given out "like they came in the goodie bags." For it, Page & Jones Of Led Zep got about 6 seconds of screentime the whole night. At least Janis had her "honor" acknowledged, via Joss & Melissa's performance.

*Note to you all: The CMJ / Rock Hall Of Fame Music Fest takes place in Cleveland June 9-11. Next week, CMJ will unleash all the details on this year's annual Marathon in NYC, the 25th anniversary of the event! Jerry Rubino CMJ/WCHR-FM

GO Hang with Lenny tomorrow night!

You guys know me and you know I only work QUALITY. I wouldn't waste your time otherwise. That's why I am inviting you out this THURSDAY night FEB 17 to see an awesome local band called The Lift at the King King. here are the details: Thursday Feb. 17th King King 6555 Hollywood Blvd. 9pm the Melismatics (from mnpls) 10pm THE LIFT 11pm Collision 12pm The Sacred Dice http://www.kingkinghollywood.com free parking & entrance behind club off Whitley Ave. If you want to go, just hit me back & I can get you on the band's guest list. I'll be there, come say hi! your friend, Lenny LaSalandra Combat Rock Promotion www.combatrockpromotion.com

February 15

Matt Groening
Birthday's today: Jane Seymour, Ugeth Urbina, John Barrymore 1882-1942,
Susan B. Anthony 1820-1906, Galileo Galilei 1564-1642

Open Forum week continues:

Let's all bow down to WKRL (K-ROCK) Syracuse PD Scott Petibone. Maybe it's been
done before...but I've never heard of giving away a "Divorce" on the air for a
Valentine's Day promotion. CNN evidentally thought it was unusual having our
creative bud on the TV. Coming up with that idea, I hope Scotty, who lives up to his
nickname "Bone at work" at least discussed it with his wife Lori first?

One viewpoint on The Grammy's...they suck!

The Grammys suck. They've sucked for a long time, and they will continue to suck, but last night was a particularly sucky night.

Who decided Queen Latifah would be a good host? She's not even a good actress (see: Taxi), and her monologue sure wasn't a good sign of things to come. The performances were, to say the least, lackluster. The artist collaborations and tributes were for the most part, uninspired and far too long. Has anyone experienced a more brutally boring live performance than J Lo and Marc Anthony's Spanish love fest. U2 (performing a song that hasn't hit the radio yet), Green Day, and Kanye stood out as highlights. Speaking of Kanye. Shutup man. Great album, great songs, but shutup. Guy gets up on stage at his first Grammy awards and acts like the world owes him something. And then he has the nerve to look noticeably miffed when he lost Best New Artist to Maroon 5. Billie Joe, will you please have a sit down with future winners and school them in proper acceptance speeches? "Rock N Roll can be dangerous and fun at the same time."

The headlines today will read "Ray's Night At The Grammys" or "Everybody Loves Ray," but it really should be something like, "The Academy loves artists who have been underappreciated in their lifetime and bestows honors on them only when they've perished." (see Warren Zevon in 2004 and many before him). Do we really think this was Ray's best work? a duet album? Record of the year for a song that I nor anyone I've spoken to this morning has even heard. The Grammys might do better by awarding top honors to artists who deserve them NOW so they don't have to give Green Day 9 awards in 2041. Ick, I hate the Grammys. P.S. Someone tell Alex Kapranos of Franz Ferdinand that the new look ain't doing him any favors. Put the suit back on and ditch the flattop man. Jeff Sottolano Music Director 94.1 The Zone 1700 HSBC Plaza Infinity Broadcasting Rochester, NY 14604

I dunno Jeff...I think we were watching two different shows. Was it the glitz of LA? I thought
Queeny was fine, not great...but fine. My take on the opening of the show with the Black Eyed
Peas, Gwen & Eve, and the others was quite spontanious and a spectacular musical display. I
did leave for an hour to watch the "best damn show on TV" right now...Carnivale on HBO. I'm
sorry I missed the incredible Melissa Etheridge Janis Joplin tribute (I did catch it on the news
later). As for Franz Ferdinand...I actually got off on the look, which was quite "New Wave".
I do agree that we seem to bestow all the praise on an artist after he/she are gone. Even
though he's an arrogant person...we should honor "The hardest working man in show
business...Mr. Please Please himself"...James Brown while he's still alive. Ya think?

Kylie checks in

Okay, I lied. Open Forum is a bit to scary for my first time on your site but I will share this: One of my favorite director/photographers and my longtime friend Red Ezra just finished directing the new video "Hollow" for the band Submersed. Here is the link: Submersed - HOLLOW Music Video http://www.submersed.com/video.html This was my first exposure to Submersed and I was so impressed I posted in the band's forum (congratulating them and Red on their kick ass new vid) and bought the CD. For more on Red Ezra please visit www.redezra.com he is an amazing photographer! Kylie Ireland Los Angeles CA www.kylieireland.com

Thanks for finally checking in Kylie, and the tip on both.

A Racial issue

Yeah, man, I got an issue. Every freakin' winter rock radio suddenly decides it's cool to be openly racist on the radio. I can't tell you how many freaking times I hear some smart-assed morning punk DJ warning all the white people in the audience to "watch out for black guys on your way to work this morning". And I take that mess personally, cuz, as some of you may know, I am one of those black guys. Are we suddenly deciding as a race of people to mug white people only in the morning, cuz I didnt get the memo!! I had this same problem with the morning team at my own station in Boston, WFNX. EVERY MORNING, on the ride in, my dj is going "jeez, there's black guys EVERYWHERE, so BE CAREFUL when your walking or driving this morning".........wait a minute.........black guys..........black ........guys........black guys......black ICE........BLACK ICE........."watch out for the black ice on your way to work this morning".........OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH.......now I get it. Never mind. Boy Troy ex-FNX-Boston

Wow! This is heavy stuff Troy. This really happened in Boston? In all my years of radio in Arizona,where rednecks breed like sewer rats...I've never heard any dispariging remarks on the air aimed towards blacks. If this is for real...freaky stuff man!

Laguna TV tonight

For those in the New York City area, Kenny Laguna was interviewed for the show "Profiles" on NYC TV CH. 74 (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island.. see below for times: Premieres: TUESDAY - 2/15 7:30 PM WEDNESDAY - 2/16 7:00 AM FRIDAY - 2/18 5:30 AM SUNDAY - 2/20 7:30 AM & 10:00 PM MONDAY - 2/21 7:30 PM 585.399.5809

Thanks to Julie Rader and the good people at Blackheart Records for the tip. Good
friend Kenny, was the keyboardist for Tommy James & The Shondells, and is the
guiding force and manager/producer for Joan Jett since the days after she left
The Runaways.

February 14 Happy Valentines Day!

Ice T
Birthday's today: Meg Tilly, Teller, Steve McNair, Drew Bledsoe, Jack Benny 1894-1974
Gregory Hines 1946-2003, Thelma Ritter 1905-1969, Jimmy Hoffa 1913-1975

Open Forum week begins: There is a common thread with these 3..."Boss"

Thanks Alex

I figure there's enough negativity out there that I would send out a heartfelt "thank you" to the person that launched my radio & record industry career--Alex Miller. Alex hired me, a nobody PD at an A.M. station in Monroeville, Pennsylvania, to do Dallas regional promotion for Imago Records in 1991. It was a huge risk on his part, since this was his first Senior executive position. Suffice to say that Alex believed in me, and I doubt I would have had any kind of radio or record or trade career without him. Thanks, Alex. I'll never forget your belief in me, and, thanks in part to your inspiration, I continue to do my best to help as many young people in this industry as I can. Jim Kerr Director of Talent & Creative Services Pollack Media Group/Dallas 1121 Beachview Street #2214 Dallas, Texas 75218 Phone: (214) 324-9060

Although what could seem hokey...I think you are a great guy Jim for giving credit where
credit is due. I might add...don't mistake negativity for constructive criticism. At least,
I'd like to think that is the direction where this forum will go the rest of the week.

I'm a good PD

Is it me or are today's radio employees getting lazier and lazier and wanting more for doing nothing. I got into radio in the late 80's and for many years BUSTED my ass and did everything and anything I could do to be a part of the station I was working. I did overnights, dressed as the station mascot, ran the syndicated shows when they were still on vinyl. I never said "no" to my program director and when he asked me to do something, I said "yes sir" and did it at 110%. Fast forward to today, and I am now a PD. I worked hard to get to where I am and enjoy my job. As PD, I work a weekend airshift, and usually come in both Saturday and Sunday for a few hours to do some work. 7 days a week and I am the PD. I still bust my ass and am paying dues. Then there are is the rest of the staff. Many of them are "rookies" in that this is their first full time job. Most came from a communication department from a good university and worked at their college radio station. My main question is... WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY TEACHING THEM? My employees bitch about working more than their airshift. They bitch that they have to work on the weekend. They bitch about not making enough money and also the talent fee isnt enough for them. They bitch about the equipment and the many things out of my control. All they care about is getting laid and drinking beer all night and then showing up late and hung over. They want all the concert tickets that we get and its more important for them to go to the shows then giving those tickets to our listeners. This new breed of radio employee has no idea of what "paying their due" means. Don't get me wrong. I like to have fun and enjoy the perks that we get, but I think I have earned it.... These colleges and universities need to add a course in their schedule... they should call it: RADIO: THE REAL WORLD. "ITS A JOB AND A CAREER.. IT'S NOT A PARTY OR A GAME" Name withheld for fear of reprecussions

*Dear PD...you sound like you really truly care. You sound like a good "boss" who needs to
somehow get your peeps to realize that it isn't a party or game as you say. I know you and do understand that like many other PD's...your staff has probably been at the station longer than you. You will figure it out. Below is not the way a boss should not try and motivate.

The Boss

The more I watch The Apprentice; it automatically makes me think of someone.

Look, I really believe that Donald Trump is a tough guy when it comes to business. Charming yes but tough. Your Fired has become a national joke so to speak. A catch phrase.

I think we have all had our share of good bosses (hopefully), and some real horrible ones. I had a horrible one that I don't mind sharing with you.

I'm amused when the The Donald says Your Fired, like mostly everyone who watches the show for that precise moment but never was amused in the least when my last boss continually used that phrase over and over for one solid year. Not just to me but anyone in his employ.

So, this is where after three years I can open up and maybe try and understand how one individual such as Gerry Cagle could possibly have the gall to berate his employees over and over.

I feel for anyone who worked with or for him, save maybe a small few in the year of 2001 given the lofty title of president of a company that had been in existence for 25 years. The company had close to one hundred employees when his reign began. The company was gone a year and three quarters later with about 30-40 workers left at the end.

He could be a charming person when he really wanted to. I had seen that side of him, granted many times. He is also a very good writer. Ask him he'll tell you about his books that have been published. One thing he is not shy on is ego. He has an ample supply of it. Arrogance was another one of his suits he wore well ( at this point, because I'm actually speaking up for all of you that were mistreated too you can say youfill in the......... blank) about him he can't hurt you anymore.

Having had all this time to figure out how a guy who had some power in the company prior to be given the crown jewel the Presidency went from a minor terror to as major one, I'll chalk it up to human error. I recall a couple of years earlier than 2001 that he blew out an entire art staff because of one person who screwed up.

Because I didn't work in his department at that time all I did was hear the stories, and on occasion actually saw first hand how he would use the scream and threaten method.

In my last year at the company, as I said he was given the power of President, and he immediately began on me in January of that year. To this day I will never understand why? My salary? maybe. But the way he went about it was low...real low. Coinciding with his all out effort to rid me of his presence he would yell and scream, and utter the Your Fired phrase so much it seemed like it was every day to everyone.

No one escaped the wrath of his drunken quench of power. Power was his drug. I wonder to this day if it really gave him the high he either needed or just simply wanted?

Monday mornings were an affair to remember. You had to be in a specific area at 9AM prompt. Plus, you had to sign in on a clipboard. If you were late you risked what by mid-year became an empty threat of Your Firedand be shamed in front of everyone. Suffice to say, I outlasted this person for one solid year forcing him to fire me. He wanted me to cave in and quit all year long, and when he told me that I was no longer needed, I'm sure he was disappointed. LOL- I'm proud of that.

I was boss on many occasions in my career and would never treat someone with so much inbred jealousy, or whatever his trip was. But hey that was then and this is now. I'll still wait for The Donald to utter his now famous catch phrase even though I think to myself, man I used to beat up guys like the two of them when I was younger.

See guys like him are only tough when given the power over your job/career. Take that away from them and they are scared sorry people.

Cagle. .. you're just an ordinary citizen. I imagine one day we will run into each other. When we do I will reach out and shake your hand and lean in and whisper in your earYour Fired, hot stuffand smile as I retract from you.:)-JL

Feel free to resond to any of these posts...as well as all week long.

Observations from Mojoland
I wanna know why people with jesus stickers or jesus fish drive so poorly? I wanna know how Bush convinced people he had a domestic policy? I wanna know how you look at Flavor Flav and come up with Foofie Foofie? I am spent......Let the open forum roll on.
MOJO PD WHHZ, Gainesville FL

February 13

Peter Gabriel
Birthday's today:Peter Tork, Mike Krzyzewski, Chuck Yeager,
Randy Moss, Tennessee Ernie Ford 1919-1991

Valentine's Day Top Love Song Searches 1. Let Me Love You - Mario 2. What is Love? - Haddaway 3. Tainted Love - Soft Cell 4. This is Love - Maroon 5 5. Shake Your Love - Debbie Gibson 6. Part Time Lover - Stevie Wonder 7. Waiting for Love - Pink 8. I Can't Make You Love Me - Britney Spears 9. Dangerously in Love - Beyonce 10. I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston
(According to Lycos)

Hi Jonathan. I enjoyed your short film "This Is Not Golf." I've been dabbling
a little with video and on the enclosed DVD is a quirky short piece (5 minutes)
about me that I've been using as part of my resume. It allows the viewer to
meet me and hear some of my basic programming philosophies. Since you're
also a filmaker, I'd welcome any feedback. Also for your review is the rest of
my resume package, including: CD audio, resume, and written philosophy. I'm
looking for a PD posistion in a small to medium market, and APD or MD
position in a major market. My format preference is Alternative, but i would
consider an aggresive Modern AC or AAA. I like how your site seems to bring
the community together, and I appreciate the oppotunity to participate with
your questions each week. Scott Lowe, 267.261.3291, loweknows@aol.com

Scott, I must say...I was VERY impressed with your package. I am not
patronizing you one iota. I'd hire you in a New York minute. The DVD is
truly fun and marlvelous to watch. Your personality really is natural and
comes across the way you wanted it to my friend. Your philosophy is fine,
and with the calls of WPLY, WXPN, WPST (all Philly), LA's Y107, KCXX,
Riverside, and KFSD San Diego...doesn't hurt at all. My concern is that
you have spent a great deal of time and thought, and expense to put
together something that I would think any GM/Owner/PD/OM would be
impressed...if they took the time to listen, watch and read. That would
be my only concern. This works very well into the coming week with the
second "Open Forum" beginning tomorrow. Already a couple of radio persons
have sent e-mails about the subject I just mentioned in the last few sentences.
By the way...shooting in LA and New York was awesome...and neat getting
the "Naked Cowboy" in there!

February 12

Christina Ricci
Birthday's today: Joe Garagiola, Abraham Lincoln 1809-1865, R. Buckminister Fuller 1895-1983

Hi Jonathan, I wanted to thank you so much for the great review you did on my son Justin's band Intangible. Look forward to working with you in the future. Gary Wright, Larkio Music LLC
Palos Verdes Estates, CA

Thank you Gary. Man...I saw you live when "Dreamweaver" was a current hit record. Thanks for
all the great memories. Hopefully we will meet one day. Justin's band rocks, and I wish them well.

Hey Jonathan, you probably know already, but wanted make sure you heard. After 12 years NMA will be back as a full band! March 21 Phoenix, AZ Mason Jar March 23 Los Angeles, CA Spaceland more info at: http://www.newmodelarmy.org/FHOME.HTM I guess time for my bro and I to hit the Phoenix scene again with flyers and make sure all us oldtimers know. Should be a great show! I Caught Justin on his semi-acoustic tours last couple of years, and he is still filled with energy. Really cool time at the Mason Jar 2003. Preshow my bro brought some his 3rd graders to meet Justin, he played some songs for them and gave them a geography lesson. I would like to thank you for all the work you did to get them here back in 1993, one of my most memorable Q shows and fullfiled dream of my teenage years. Take Care, Kristoffer Phoenix AZ

Kris...thanks for the heads up. NMA still one of my all-time favorite bands. Justin Sullivan rules!

February 11

Sheryl Crow
Birthday's today: Burt Reynolds, Tina Louise, Mary Quant, Brian Daubach,
Eva Gabor 1921-1995, Joseph L. Mankiewicz 1909-1993

UPDATES: Black hair, lots of tattoos, and a smile that would melt you...former
Epitaph promo person Christina Whitetrash communicated today. She and
friend Russell are living in the UK and working for a small company handling
promotion and publicity for a number of American labels over there. You can
say hello by e-mailing her at trashytango@hotmail.com

Marty Oehlhof has left KDJE, Little Rock for MD duties and nights at WBYR in
Ft. Wayne, Indiana. It is a Federated Media station. Contact Marty by e-mail at

This ends the week of your favorite funny people

It's old school like Laurel & Hardy and Charlie Chaplin. These were masters of very broad but personal humor. The old timers like Abbott & Costello, Marx Bros., WC Fields, etc. looked funny as people. It would be impossible to imagine them being anything but comedians. Very different from today in that respect. If you look at the comedians I've named here, you'll find on closer look that they really don't look "funny" as much as "unique"...know what I mean? They don't look like "normal" people, do they? But you want to laugh just looking at them...something very "quirky" about them and all are very good at "physical" humor. But that's the one thing I've noticed thru the years, is that somewhere around the 70's the look from old school to new school took over. While I gravitate to new comedians like Lewis Black, David Cross and his partner Bob or Seinfeld reruns, I find what makes me laugh are the nods to the Vaudville era comics and their "bits" that the new breed still incorporates. Robert Allen/Sha-La Music, Inc. NJ

You know who was truley funny in his day? Johnny Carson. Current day, Ellen. Love ya.
Jackie Selby KOOL FM, Denver CO

On TV the person who makes me laugh every time is Jerry Seinfeld, and on radio without a doubt, the only choice is Phil Hendrie. Scott Lowe B104 Allentown PA

Lewis Black, hands down. His mannerisms and jokes/commentaries on even the smallest things in life are downright hysterical. Matt Sledge WOXY-FM Cincinnati OH

Ellen...straight up. Pun intended. She is just so freaking consistently funny. Mostly because she's wacky, but also because she's totally herself out there & it doesn't seem put on. I'd say a great runner up is Dave Chapelle. That dude just cracks me up. Him & Jon Stewart. Unless Trey & Matt
who created South Park count... L.I.Z. Notorious Radio, Queens NY

The Marx Brothers. Pee your pants funny. Jack DeVoss MD CD101, Columbus OH

I would have to say the comedian I work with, Mr. Stephen Lynch and RIP Chris Farley. Watching them makes me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants.
Jillian Reitsma What Are Records? Denver CO

Jon, it has been and always will be George Carlin. he is brilliant, edgy, and 99.9 percent of the time says what I am thinking. He is the only comedian to come from the 60s that hasn't been reduced to knockin' em dead with quick one liners down at the elks lodge. George can still sell out huge arenas and will until the day before he croaks. 2nd on the list is Louis Black. He once said I was crazy. That is the pot calling the kettle black, no pun..... Matt Foley APD KMRQ, Modesto CA

Chris Rock is the man.When he doesn't make me laugh, which is seldom, he makes me think. His commentary is so spot on that I dare use the word genius. His insight and humor increases the quality of my life. Mike Mena Redondo Beach CA

Eddie Murphy Raw CD. Joey Gusto PD WBER, Rochester NY

Dave Attell. After any shitty day, Dave can always make me feel good!
Jerry Rubino Account Executive The CMJ Network, NY

*Has anyone noticed that the word "pee" comes up a lot all week long?

This weekend: New Model Army News. Plus reviewing a package sent by to
me by Scott Lowe. A great presentation. Boy...things have come a long way baby!

This coming Monday: Kicks off Open Forum #2. You ask the questions, you
rant, vent, I rant, vent...whatever. Ms. Farber...I will address you.

February 10

Lance Berkman
Birthday's today: Mark Spitz, Leontyne Price, Lenny Dykstra, Peter Allen 1944-1992,
Jerry Goldsmith 1929-2004, Jimmy Durante 1893-1980, Boris Pasternak 1890-1960

Fair Warning! Next week will be open forum week #2. Giving you time to
think of whatever you want to spew, ask a question, whatever. As for
me, after 3 years of silence...watch out Cagle, Saturn, and others.

More Yucks...your favorite comedians:

LENO: A fan since the 70s the first time I was home sick from school and saw him on Mike Douglas talking about LA residents hosing instead of sweeping. KINNISON: A genius that made me laugh till it hurt. Fantastic LIVE. DON RICKLES: Still the king of insults. NEWHART: The dryness of his earlier comedy is epic. TRIUMPH THE INSULT COMIC DOG: Ballsy.
Kenny Allen PD KMBY, Monterey/Santa Cruz CA

Hey Jonathan, I'm obviously going to have to clear out more time in my schedule to explore every corner of the website. I love it all! For your question about who makes you laugh, I'd have to say the Monty Python boys never seem to fail. 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' will always make me laugh. I'm so jazzed about all this great music coming out! LCD Soundsystem, Kasabian, Trail of Dead, The Bravery, Louis XIV (love the EP), The Futureheads, the New Order track is great and check out "Oh My God" by the Kaiser Chiefs, it's really good. Man... And it's only February. It's so great to have the national platform Ethel provides to turn people on to this great music. More rants later... Walter Flakus Music Director Fred 44 / Ethel 47 XM Satellite Radio 1500 Eckington Place NE Washington DC, 20002-2194 202.380.4285 walter.flakus@xmradio.com

Hands down Dave Attel. I'm not a fan of his show Insomniac but I love his stand up. I can listen to it over and over again and still laugh my ass off. MJ APD/MD WXSR, Tallahassee FL

I know he has already been mentioned a few times but the person who makes me laugh consistenly would definitely be Bill Hicks. While I don't necessarily agree with every single word that came out of his mouth, he expressed his point in such a literate yet humorous way that you still couldn't help laughing. To me, that is the sign of a good comedian. I still can't hear the words "goldfish and lincoln logs" without a smile coming to my face. Also amazing how relevant a lot of it still is (10 years after his death) since he does a lot on Bush Sr or Iraq that could easily be apllied to the current situation. Kevin Jackson WTGZ Tiger Communications Program Director 2514 South College Street Suite 104
Auburn AL 36832 334.887.9999

Marc Algini Come On! Management/Aurora Music Group 27 Ludlow Street Suite 4 New York
NY 10002 ph: 646.862.4800

I like Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, David Cross and George Carlin for stand up type stuff. I am kind of old school when it comes to funny actors. I love Lucy, Dick Van Dyke, Bill Murray even John Ritter. Then of course there is Chris Farley in Tommy Boy, one of the finest comic perfomances ever.
Marcie Robinson PD KACV, Amarillo TX

I am my favorite comedian. Because I can amuse myself when everybody else in my life is busy. I love to laugh and hear everyone else I love laugh with me. I Love You Forever,
Your wife, Jeanette L.

Who really makes me laugh... Kevin James as Doug Heffernan on King of Queens... his loveable dumb ass makes me laugh every time. Dave Chappelle is one of the funniest people alive, hands down. Chevy Chase is another person who makes me laugh just looking at him. I also don't think you can really beat the team of Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon... superb! Monk Music Director/Production Director WANZ, Z100.5 142 Skyland Blvd. Tuscaloosa, AL 35405 p: 205.247.4805

I'll tell you what. right now, for me, I think Chris rock is the funniest. He's fucking hilarious.
Ed Hale Transcendence, now in New York City, baby!

You make me laugh! Victor Caballero thetopdeal.com, Pasadena CA
*Hmm...I'm glad I make you laugh V...but couldn't you have been more original?

A bunch more tomorrow!

February 9 Ash Wednesday

Carole King
BIrthday's today: Mia Farrow, Vladimir Guerrero, Alice Walker, Dean Rusk 1909-1994
Gypsy Rose Lee 1914-1970, Bill Veeck 1914-1986, Brenden Behan 1923-1964

Dem bones...dem funny bones...continues

J, only ONE?! NOT FAIR. Pryor. Kinison. MITCH HEDBERG! Carlos Mencia is brilliant...Pablo Francisco and Frank Caliendo are both incredible impressionists, and should tour together. Ever heard of JOHN VALBY?? He plays piano and sings the dirtiest drinking songs, and his audience is the kind of drunk and rowdy that you'd only normally see in a movie when they portray biker bars. I'm predicting latino comedians will do very very well in the near future....their audiences are very enhthusiastic, and the stories and relatability that these guys deliver...latino comedy is very very funny shit. Ayo MD/APD/Internet PD/Bake Sale Coordinator KDGE Clear Channel Dallas 14001 N. Dallas Pkwy, Suite 300 Dallas,TX 75240 www.kdge.com

Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle and any episode of South Park.
Lenny LaSalandra Combat Rock Promotions, Los Angeles CA

Hmmmm......that's tough. There are so many. I love Letterman, Lewis Black makes me wanna piss myself, Eddie Murphy is just a legend and, hell, I got my radio guy name (Polychronopolis) from an Adam Sandler song....so I guess I don't really need to write how I feel about his comedy. However, when I lived in Minneapolis I would frequently go check out the stand-up acts at ACME Comedy Company. I'm in Omaha now and while here I worked at the Funnybone Omaha and along the way I met this guy Mark Gross. He is absolutely an amazing stand-up. Simply one of the funniest people I've ever met. He's one of those that is just funny. He's just naturally funny, but it also translates to the stage. (Sometimes it doesn't). So, I'm gonna go with Mark Gross. You can catch his humor on Comedy Central every now and then with re-runs of their various stand up specials. You can also hear his humor, through other people, on the ABC sitcom 'Rodney', as he writes and produces for that show. AND, I just found out he has signed a record contract with Capitol and just recorded his first album, so hopefully you'll have access to that as well, soon. DEFINITELY worth checking out. He is hysterical. Thanks JL! Polychronopolis MD/Afternooner Waitt Radio Networks 1000 N. 90th St. Suite 105 Omaha, NE 68114 Direct:402.952.7611 AOL: toxirocker

Love Chris Rock...he says all the things we really want to say and gets paid for it...lucky guy!
Gina Juliano Cincinnati OH

Jonathan L makes me laugh- lol.......in an old-school punk way baby!!!!! on a more serious note, Robin Williams, Billy Crystal, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Ellen, Rosanne, Letterman, etc, etc, etc if
I had to pick someone old school, here's a shocker and name from the past, Jonathan Winters.....one of the funniest human beings on the planet, by the way is that s.o.b. still alive?, where in the hell has he been? Love comedy and laughter is a way to stay healthy, forget the prozac and the rest of that anti-funk stuff, tune to Comedy Central, that'll lift the spirits!!!! Oh shit I almost forgot, the cast of South Park, now thats some damn funny shit.- lol
Frank Wells APD/MD 99-3 WYSK, Fredericksburg VA

O.K. JL..I'm here!! When I think of comedy, I think Steve Martin, George Carlin and wonderful..or not so wonderful local acts coming through Tucson. Comedic entertainment..well, slightly different beast, but I LOVE Conan O-BRY-ANN..but as a side note, due to recent events..the best comedic INTERVIEWER that the world has seen, so far, is the Late, Great Johnny Carson. No one could turn straw into gold, or gold into platinum quite like him.
Margie Rye KLPX Tucson margierye@worldnet.att.net

More funny bones tomorrow! I have numerous more...but if you haven't sent yours and
would like to...please do. I only e-mailed over 700 of you-lol

February 8

Jack Lemmon 1925-2001
Birthday's today: Nick Nolte, Ted Koppel, Alonzo Mourning, James Dean 1931-1955
Lana Turner 1921-1995, Dame Edith Evans 1888-1976, Jules Verne 1828-1905

FOX TV...you fuckin' wimp ass hypocrites!!!

Two days removed from the Superbowl, The happiest man alive has to be Bob Parsons, President
of Phoenix based GoDaddy.com...afterall he has gotten more juice from his TV commercial than
anyone...because all the news shows and entertainment shows keep showing the spot over and
over...hence giving the domain company much more than the paid for two spots during the game.
The spot features a beauty having a problem with her t-shirt, that one strap keeps falling down,
never exposing breast, just the illusion. The real charm of the spot is that it's a spoof of her
appearing before a committee hearing on censorship. After a few phone calls-FOX decided to not
air the second spot after the first one ran in the first quarter. So Parsons, I assume gets back half
his money back, and Go Daddy will now be more known than ever. Fact: the spot was approved two weeks ago. We are now entering a new chapter in our history. All of this moral judgement because
of Janet's boob. There are still Senators and Congressmen having young boys suck their dicks, and the hetero one's are still seeing hookers...yet they can impose such fear in broadcasters to censor
a harmless commercial. The camera panning to cheerleaders during games are just as enticing, yet they are shown all the time. It's bullshit I tell you! The FCC is now the boss of all and anything
entertaining. But not the internet...fokkers!

By the way...the FED-EX and Mustang commercials were great!

More yucks from your favorite comedians

Bill Hicks and Mitch Hedburg. Bill Hicks did a dangerous brand of comedy that challenged people to think. He wasn't just a joke teller. He wasn't working the room, he was working past the room. Comedians like Jon Stewart are heavily influenced by Bill Hicks. Mitch Hedburg gets compared to Steven Wright a lot. He is a deadpan one-liner kind of guy. He is not trying to change the world. His observations are pretty twisted. Jacent Jackson APD/MD Q101, Chicago IL

Larry, Moe, and Curly, The Three Stooges are my favorite comedians of all time. On the surface, it is total slapstick. In depth, they were making fun of the times. A social comment of WW 2 making fun of the Nazi's. Prohibition with their apparent imbibing with their own potent mixers. The depression, making fun of the rich. The sound effects were priceless. Jeffrey Naumann phone: 818.706.3864 cell: 310.989.4074 email: yeepahs@aol.com

Jack Black and Will Farrell could read an obituary and make me laugh until i pissed my pants.
Scott Perrin PD KFTE, Lafayette LA

Denis Leary cuz he doesn't give a shit about what you think. Bill Maher's "New Rules" on Real Time always makes me laugh. Bobcat Goldthwait is the BEST radio interview because he doesn't have anything planned. Bobby Slayton- the king of base humor, John Frost makes the best production in the country still. Rubin Channel 93.3/KTCL-FM apd/morning jock, Denver CO

David Cross, Dave Chappelle. Both are intelligent and funny. That lady on Saturday Night Live, Amy Pohler... the blonde lady. She's funny. Jason Fat Wreck Chords, San Francisco CA

The yucks continue tomorrow.

February 7

Chris Rock
Birthday's today: Garth Brooks, Emo Phillips, Juwan Howard, Charles Dickens 1812-1870

Question of the week: Who really makes you laugh over and over?
Who is your favorite comedian ( TV, Film)?

Who makes me laugh everytime? Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, and Conan O'Brien. Miles Montgomery KQBZ 100.7 "The Buzz" Seattle WA

For me it was Dudley Moore (did you ever see Derek and Clive?) Mark Hamilton, Station Manager/Program Director KNRK 94/7 FM Alternative Portland 0700 SW Bancroft Street Portland, OR 97239 p) 503.535.0395 mhamilton@knrk.com & www.947.fm

Fave comedian? I have many....Lately I've been re-visiting Bill Hicks, as a new DVD has just been put out with 3 performances recorded in the early to mid 90's before he passed away. I've been really enjoying Mitch Hedberg's stuff lately as well. Fave funny TV shows? Arrested Development and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Both brilliant in their own way. Of course, Family Guy is fantastic, and I will probably never tire of Seinfeld. Fave funny movie? I always come back to Raising Arizona, surely one of my favorite movies of all time. JJ Fabini Assistant Director of Programming X102 - WXTW; Z94.1 - WCKZ; FOX SPORTS 1250 - WGL; MY103.9 - WYLT; WILD96.3 -WNHT; 102.9 The River - WXKE Summit City Radio Group 2000 Lower Huntington Road Ft. Wayne, IN, 46819 260.747.1511 (Office) jj@summitcityradio.com jj@X102fm.com

Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton ... The Honeymooners is the funniest show ever! Go get all 39 episodes on DVD. It's a must have! Shawn Alexander Alternative Editor, allaccess.com

Makes me laugh EVERY time.... *Peter Cook & Dudley Moore (Derek & Clive "What's The Worst Job You Ever Had?"...regarding the extraction of lobsters from Jayne Mansfield's anus, emptying Winston Churchill's spittoon, et al) *Monty Python (In "Life Of Brian", Michael Palin as Pontius Pilate and John Cleese as Roman Centurion discussing Pilate's "friend from Rome (Wome)...Biggus Dickus". *Dave Chappelle *Tunc Erim "The King Of Hookey Dookey" (real life hilarity...God bless him, one of my all time favorite people) Sam Kaiser MVP Entertainment, Inc. tel 805.969.7095

Many more to come this week!


Bob Marley 1945-1981
Birthday's today: Ronald Regan 1911-2004, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Mamie Van Doren, Axl Rose,
Tom Brokaw, Babe Ruth 1895-1948, Francois Truffaut 1932-1984, Bob Wickman

I came to a few revelations last night

As we layed there hugging each other, in the after play of being intimate...I transcended into thoughts about all the people I've ever known. Not all literally...just the thoughts of having recently spoken to a number of people from my past. Lets take a break for a moment and go back an hour or so earlier. I had requested that we listen to the new Chemical Brothers album "Push The Button", as I've heard it numerous times but Jeanette had not. As she got ready for me (primping), she popped in the album. She always puts the speakers on the floor so when cranked up...it gives the effect of a minor quake, or let's just say a tremor. I dig that. Mid-way through as she layed on top of me...I am now in a complete zone. In a hazy way...not an immediate realization...I hear a voice that surely is not The Chemical Brothers. I whisper in her ear softly "wow, Placebo...nice choice baby". She whispers back with a soft giggle..."no...Cyclefly". I smile and again whisper softly in her ear..."oh my God...yeah...Declan". Ok, now back to earlier. We are laying there and listen to the music even more carefully now. The lyrics are sensual, and at times biting. Two things are going on we stare at the ceiling...well, maybe not the ceiling..but into space. One, is me thinking how much I loved the album "Generation Sap" from 1999. I'm saying to myself in my head, not out loud...HOW THE FUCK DID RADIO MISS THIS??? I really sincerly, positively, with out a doubt, just wanted to scream it as loud as I could...but NOT in the moment as I was in.This makes me wonder after as I wash my face. How could such an excellent recording just slip by the radio ears of 1999. I wrote about them...well let's say RAVED about them in virtuallyalternative back then. The Irish band with the O'Shea brothers should have been a smash back then. I remember them live...what a teriffic band. I don't even know if they still exist? As I write this, I am now thinking of all the people that have been reunited through the medium of this web site. Especially for me. I don't care if it's one conversation...a good one...but nonethelessat least one, it very well be the last time I speak with them again. NO, it's not because I don't want to...it's just the way life is. People have their lives and it's cool to them and you and me to have that update in their lives. I would imagine though that some of these recent calls might turn out be a keeper. Who knows? I mean in the sense, that whether it only be by phone or the occasional e-mail. It's all good. *My wife is good...slipping in the CD changer the extra CD. Nice seque baby!

Let's check in on Corey O' Brien shall we?

KXRK, X96 � Salt Lake City, Utah Specialty: Grapes Into Wine #2005-
006 Hey, I am sending this a bit early because I'm taking a couple days for some R & R in San Francisco. Here are the lists ending the week of Sunday, Feb. 6, 2005: Xposed Louis XIV Finding Out True Love is Blind" Atlantic Halifax "A Writer's Reference" Drive Thru Gratitude You're Invited Atlantic The Kaiser Chiefs I Predict a Riot Universal Low Monkey Sub Pop Tegan and Sara Walking with a Ghost Sanctuary Seth Swirsky Instant Pleasure Julian's Dad I Am Kloot "Proof" Echo LCD Soundsystem "Daft Punk is Playing at My House" DFA Pepper Ashes Volcom Keane Everybody's Changing Interscope And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead The Rest Will Follow Interscope Underoath Reinventing Your Exit Tooth and Nail
Xpanded 02.05.04 The X96 Music Mix Tape Vol.21 The Fiery Furnaces "Single Again" Rough Trade Louis XIV "Illegal Tender" Atlantic Social Distortion "Highway 101" The Soundtrack of Our Lives "Big Time" Universal The Golden Republic "You Almost Had It" Astralwerks M83 "Don't Save Us From the Flames" Mute The Fight "Revolution Calling" Ashley Halifax "The Next Two Weeks" Drive Thru The Comas "Tonight on the WB" Yep Roc Tailgunner "Drink Yourself Dead" Audioracket Autolux "Here Comes Everybody" Columbia Mudvayne "Happy?" Epic Bright Eyes "Take It Easy" Saddle Creek Adam Green "Emily" Rough Trade
My call time is Wednesday from 1 - 2 p.m. Mountain Time at 801.325.3193. Corey O'Brien KXRK-X96 On-Air Assistant Music Director Imaging Director 515 S 700 E 1C Salt Lake City, UT 84102 direct line: 801.325.3193 email: coreyx96@hotmail.com

* Every once in a while I will publish someone's specialty show playlist

February 5

Christopher Guest (Think "Spinal Tap")
Birthday's today: Barbara Hershey, Charlotte Rampling, Hank Aaron, Darrell Waltrip,
Roberto Alomar, Red Buttons, Alex Harvey 1935-1982, William S. Burroughs 1914-1997,
Roger Staubach, John Carradine 1906-1988, Adlai Stevenson 1900-1965

One last dreamer...or is he?

If I could be the owner/program director of my own radio station...hmm...let me think. I've got it, it would be a radio station where you can see all the disc jockeys and they would all be topless girls! And these topless girls would play too-hot-for-MTV videos. And this station would stream into every T1 wired dormitory, every DSL connected office cubicle and every broadband connected home all over the world!! And, with new wireless technology, this station will be available on cell phones and PDA's around the globe!! And I would name this station ToplessRadio.com. And guess what.....it's real and on the air right now at www.toplessradio.com Who-hoo! Rich Schmidt Los Angeles CA

Maybe this is your bag...get involved

If you're like most people in business, you are always seeking to get your product in the hands of the right people. The right exposure can help move a product. Here is your opportunity to get your product into the hands of celebrities at a prestigious Hollywood event. The news coverage of this event can also provide your product with limelight opportunities! Each VIP attending this event will receive a goody bag. Your company will have the opportunity to place your product in the goody bag that the VIP's will receive. VIP's include renowned actor Martin Sheen (who is receiving the 2005 Artist of Conscience Award this evening), Terry George (writer and director of the feature film Hotel Rwanda. He'll be receiving the Artistic Freedom Honor award), Ed Asner, Julie Delpy, Jake Gyllenhal, Ed Harris, Amy Madigan, Sally Kirkland, Martin Landau, Esai Morales, Mira Sorvino, Ozzy, Sharon, Kelly and Jack Osborne, Congressman Henry Waxman, State Senator Sheila Kuehl and many more. This is a terrific list of high profile celebrities! What:Celebration of Artistic Freedom- Academy Awards Viewing Dinner and After Party When: Sunday, February 27, 2005 4:30PM Cocktails and Red Carpet 5:30PM Dinner and Viewing 9:00PM Party & Awards Program Where: Ago, 8478 Melrose Avenue in West Hollywood Presented By: City of West Hollywood The Lee Strasberg Theatre & Film Institute Benefiting: Amnesty International USA ACLU Foundation of Southern California The Lee Strasberg Creative Center The insertion fee to place an item in the VIP goody bag is $1000 plus a quantity of 300 pieces of your product. Most of your insertion fee (70% of it) is tax deductible as proceeds go to benefit the above mentioned organizations. Reserve your opportunity today by contacting: Mike Mena mikemena@adelphia.net 310.316.9892

Up in Canada...it's freakin' cold...and...

Matt Smallwood joins Maplecore's distribution arm MapleNationwide as Director, Sales and Acquisitions. With deep roots in the independent community most recently as Marketing Manger for respected New York indie Rainbow Quartz, Matt's mandate will be to build on MapleNationwide's successful launch in 2004. He will report directly to Maplecore's President & CEO, Grant Dexter. The Maple name has quickly become a well known and trusted brand in Canada by consumers and industry folk alike, and is associated with many top selling acts including; The Dears, Kathleen Edwards, Pilate, Joel Plaskett, The Wilkinsons, Doc Walker and more. Matt can be reached at the information below. Matt Smallwood MapleNationwide P - 416.961.4332 x.273 E -mail matt.smallwood@maplenationwide.com

February 4

Alice Cooper (Loves Golf and owns over 500 watches)
Birthday's today: Dan Quayle, Lawrence Taylor, David Brenner, Betty Friedan,
Oscar De La Hoya, Charles Lindbergh 1902-1974

Last of the "dream stations"?

For me, the answer is simple and obvious: I would do what I heard promised as "the future of radio" back in music school. A format known as 'full-spectrum radio.' Something always talked about but never yet pulled off. Who the hell has only one style of music in their CD collection? Why is it so common for people to complain about the radio in their local area? Why is it so common for people to stop listening to commercial rock and pop radio entirely once they reach a certain age (30?) Why is satellite radio the big bad dog in the neighborhood ready to chew the hell out of the little commercial stations? Why are people paying their own money now to listen to Internet radio and Satellite radio when they can get commercial radio for free???!!! Why do these commercial pop/rock stations depend so heavily on their "goofy funny morning shows?" The answer to all of these questions and more is simple... sad but true... but for the most part, and this isn't every station in every market, but for the most part, modern commercial rock and pop radio sucks ass because it is too formatted. So most people grow up, eventually tune it out, and turn it off and move on to more expressive methods of getting their music fix. The best radio station in the entire fucking universe will be the one that plays the best music in the entire fucking universe without attention to format or style. They'll jump from the Butthole Surfers to the Beatles to bread to Limp Bizkit to Beethoven in an hour and you will fucking love them for it. You will kiss the ground they walk on because for once you won't feel like someone is insulting your intelligence by catering to the lowest common denominator who can only stomach one style of music at a time. Good music is good music. Drop the effing formats already and just play great music of all kinds. The first person or station to do this right will become a God and slowly force the rest of the industry to follow with their tail between their legs.
Ed Hale Transcendence, Miami FL (Editor: Nice rant Ed)

Ha ha ha. I love this question, Jonathan! My dream radio station-- 70's and 80's Alternative! Mod, punk, tons of British, lots of f-word songs. Fuck the FCC! Love ya Jon.
Jackie Selby Air personality KOOL, Denver CO

I was doing it, on three different stations at Sirius Satellite Radio. Had a great, knowledgable air-staff. Strong music flow on each, all perfectly distinguishable, and combined represented "alternative music" old & new. All in the Top 20 for customer satisfaction at the time outta 50 music channels. (Including Alt-Nation at #7) But the "dream" was halted and crushed. American music fans loss. Sad. Jerry Rubino CMJ Network, WCHR, Monmouth NJ

I'm living my dream...working in internet radio setting trends & not following them. not only am I a programmer, I'm also part owner. I'm very lucky.
Mike Taylor PD/Part Owner WOXY.Com, Cincinnati OH

Don't have to win the lottery. WBER is the best a station can be. I am being 100% honest.
Joey Gusto PD WBER, Rochester NY

I would take the money and buy SIRIUS STOCK SIRI. Radio Stations will be a thing of the past
SOON! Minister Sirius Satellite, Left Of Center, New York NY

February 3
Birthday's today: Fran Tarkenton, Bob Griese, Casey Weldon, Gertrude Stein 1874-1946
James Michener 1907-1997, Horace Greeley 1811-1872

Hey...it was a blast! Last night new label Three Kings Records had maybe the showcase of
the year. It was held at the hoity toity legendary Friars Club home of many famous "roasts" for
big name celebs. This is in Beverly Hills...not exactly my favorite part of the city. I always get lost
driving around there. Hey...I'm an Eastsider, what can I say. The main attraction was a performance
from The Prom Kings. Fantastic band! Thanks to Stu Cohen and all the staff and owners of the
label for jamming over two hundred people in the room that Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, and many others walked and sat in. Someone mentioned to me that more than 50% of the young people there
were from the West LA, Beverly Hills...Paris Hilton scene. I'm not surprised. The only people I did
run into were Joel Denver, Shawn Alexander, and Doug Lagambina from All Access, Kenny Ryback,
Ken Anthony (R&R), Bob Divney, and Todd Seivers...and...that was it. Just lots of beautiful people and lots of servers walking around with all those yummy little treats on a platter..."have one sir"...
"sure why not...what is it? The coolest thing was meeting Roger Lodge (I'm a sucka for "Blind Date",
the TV show), and getting a photo taken and meeting Laker Luke Walton. I'm a Lakers fan (don't say a word Perrone), and a life long supporter of the Arizona Wildcats, and saw Luke play all four years
at the U of A. Man...he is tall. I look dwarfed...just like when I was in a photo with Howie Long. Go to page 10 on the gallery page for more photos. (Audio/visual picture: I'm walking around...constantly
moving...and the Marilyn Manson song "Beautiful People" is thumping in my head!)

Ok...time for more of your dream stations, 'cause you won the lottery!

Reggae and Ska, and American-tinged reggae/ska vibe stuff...like The Police, Skindred, old No Doubt and Kravitz maybe, lots of Madness and Squirrel Nut, mon.... I'd run it all by myself in a one room NexGen studio, naked, from the middle of a pot field, in the middle of an island hidden somewhere near the Bath Isles in the BVI.....I'd let a full live album track every day at 8AM while I wade out into the water and spear my food. On a quiet day, if you listen closley, they say you can hear me laughing at all you suckers back in the states. Haha Ayo MD/APD/Internet PD/Bake Sale Coordinator KDGE Clear Channel, Dallas TX

My dream station would be exactly like the now-defunct KBLT. KBLT was a pirate station operated out of a woman's walk-in closet in her Silver Lake (Los Angeles) apartment. There was a different DJ every two hours-- so if you didn't like what was on right now, odds are you'd like what was on next (I did the sleepy Wednesday 2-4am shift). I believe it was in 1998 that the LA Weekly voted KBLT as the best radio station in LA. Packing a whopping 40-watt punch, the station barely reached the middle of Hollywood, but it was so much fun to listen to. When John Frusciante re-joined the Red Hot Chili Peppers, their first public gig was an on-air acoustic set in the living room adjacent to the tiny on-air booth. You can read about the station in the great non-fiction novel "40 Watts from Nowhere" by Susan Carpenter. Chris Wagganer Film Maker, Los Angeles CA

I already have my dream radio station. It's in my iPod, every day!
Dave Lombardi Astralwerks Records, New York NY

More dreamers tomorrow

Huge congrats to Deanne Safferen, who takes over APD/MD duties at KYSR in LA

February 2

Graham Nash
Birthday's today: Christie Brinkley, Farrah Fawcett, Vlade Divac,
Sean Elliot, Jane Wagner, George Halas 1895-1983

OK...so what's next? WXYZ (Live 105.7) Baltimore changed it's call
letters to WHFS. They will still be a gesture playing music only at night
and on the weekend. Oh...did anybody tell ya that Tim Virgin and Pat
Ferrise are still involved? I didn't read that in FMQB. Or did I?

Hi Jonathan- Got turned on to your site by Zak and Benji who are here at our maverick AAA KCUV. We are having a great time, just like the early WHFS, from Zappa to Tyrone Davis, and plenty of Prine, Beck, and Marshall Tucker in between. Really taking off. I also program an Indie station on AM here in Denver, Sahara Hotnights, Early 80's through now, electronica and the whole works. Really popular. Hope to catch up soon. John Hayes Denver CO

John...great to hear from you...can't wait to catch up

Hi Jonathan- I checked out the site and loved it! I liked Jeanettes section too....Please tell her I said hello. JL Radio is now a bookmark and a new staple for keeping up on all the cool stuff. Way to go!
Kristen Guarino Los Angeles CA

Thanks Kristen...I'm happy you bookmarked!

Dream Stations continue:

99 Spice! All Hot Chick Pop. Spice Girls, J-Lo, Cathy Dennis, Xtina, etc. They have to be hot chicks and the songs have to bleed pop smash at one time or another. No down tempo songs. All songs must be empowering. Girl Power! All my jocks would of homosexual orientation. My street team would be male dancers. The whole idea is to present a station built for the fun in women. "Spice Up Your Life ... 99 Spice!" ... Once a month, for 4 days the station goes commercialless and plays nothing but hardcore metal like American Headcharge. Guess why? OR! 100.9 The Meat! Taking the menstrual cycle from 99 Spice, 24/7 Hardcore Metal, The meanest station ever. I'll hire the biggest assholes known and they need to yell in the mic. Anyone who believes in the goodness of humans need not apply. I would run promotions where we'd put bounty's on the heads of people we didn't like, regardless of profession, like the Pope ... because we're just that mean. The audience is called "The Meat Eaters" and the station positioning statement is "Nobody Can Beat ... The Meat!"
Scott Petibone PD WKRL, Syracuse NY

I would put these stations up in Fantasyland USA! Catalina Island is where. Over looking the beach and crystal clear water. I would play the hardest blistering new metal to the best old school rock (lots of Van Halen, Pantera, Judas Priest, Maiden, Crue etc.) Korn would replace Mandatory Metallica as a nightly block feature. Although Metallica would play a heavy part in my play list old school only (first five CDs) Megadeth, Anthrax, AC/DC, only the hardest from these bands and more. To listen would be exhausting....NO FUCKING BALLADS! Rock on!
Matt Foley APD KMRQ, Modesto CA

It would be right here in Lafayette, in an underground bunker. It would sound like my i-Pod - but not really an anything goes type thing, but close to it. A very anti-industry, punk kinda vibe( not that I have anything against the industry, I swear). dangerous, but not cheesy. We'll run the wires and start the fires. It would look somewhat like my control looks like now - tons of black lights and stuff. Almost like a rock club vibe. A studio for live performances as well. mornings - Henry Rollins mid-day - me, and have a REAL all request show 12-2. afternoon drive - Jed The Fish nights - Mike Patton...and, we would support the hell out of all the great, local bands down here - New Dead Radio (relocated to Hollywood now, check em out!) Greyline, Gloryhole, Bimora...

Scott Perrin PD KFTE, Lafayette LA

YES...more to come tomorrow!

February 1

Lisa Marie Presley
Birthday's today: Exene Cervenka, Terry Jones, Boris Yeltsen, Malik Sealy
Clark Gable 1901-1960, John Ford 1895-1973

Listen up Joan Jett Fans: Tonight her song "I Love Rock n' Roll" will open
up American Idol with the contestants in Cleveland at the R&R Hall Of Fame.

You won the lottery and are building your dream radio station!

Good question - and good that you threw in the limitless cash to do it - I think we all feel we could put on the killer station; but I hope we all know how nearly impossible it really is to reach the unwashed masses. To find common ground. Some folks, like you, Jon, have earned the right at times in history to really program a station - and KUKQ was very, very entertaining. Anyone who thinks it's easy and they could certainly do it better than what they're hearing should see how hard people like Kevin Weatherly work each and every bloody day of their lives. They would pass out. In 1989 I had the chance to program an hour long alternative show (POST MODERN, then), on top 40 powerhouse KZZP/Phoenix. We called it THE EDGE; it was long before THE EDGE was a regular station in Phoenix, and I was told they used a lot of my old production when they first signed on; I thought that was crazy cool, though I've always wondered how they got it - Bob? (I spent HOURS on that shit!) I gotta say, when folks who really knew what they were doing were scheduling the music (mostly Michelle Santosuosso and Guy Zapoleon, as well as then PD Bob Case), and I stuck to doing the imaging for the show - it was huge. The ratings were sick! Then they turned it over to me, and I couldn't see past playing what I liked - and BOOM! Away she went. I learned a LOT from that experience (and overall, it was awesome!). Now, though, I would set about hiring people I know love music and who can talk on the radio. Rather like KCRW in approach, I would want to line up several music lovers who could present new and old sounds in an interesting and relevant way, with the expectation that the job may not last long - play the music you love til you clear the floor, then the next kid is up - but trust the jocks with the music! That's what's missing from all radio (satellite and terrestrial) now - management that understand it's J's (as my friend Darcy Fulmer calls us) love and care about what music we're playing. I even have ways to hire them in mind... but I'll keep that to myself for now. I would handle the station imaging (hiring super talent John Frost if it was the SuperBallCrazyAssLottery it was that I won) and...well...since that's what I would need to do it, I guess I'll stop there... Thanks fer asking, Mr. L! CYA! Doug KROQ/L.A. / Sirius Satellite Radio - AlNation/21

Damn, Jonathan, why you wanna mess with our heads like that? First, there is no format on my dream station. Program whatever the hell I want, no "insultants" can call at all. Only Jonathan Lev cuz he has a tight bankroll and who couldnt use free food? and a weekend stay at the four seasons? No djs - just sweepers/legals voiced by Kat Corbett of KROQ. No contests, no requests, just shut up and listen and enjoy. Oh yeah, and Jon Cohen can call once in a while if he keeps mailing me the Cornerstone Player. playlist, page one - Liz Phair, Pixies, Beastie Boys, Sly Stone, Rage Against the Machine, Captain Beefheart, PJ Harvey, Esthero, Jane's Addiction, Fatboy Slim, Chameleons UK, Lee Perry, Bjork, Radiohead, Consolidated, Zappa, Zero Seven, Archers of Loaf, Sebadoh , Public Enemy, Curtis Mayfield, Paul Weller, Jeff Buckley, The Felt, Superchunk, April March, Beth Orton, Teenage Fan Club, Portishead, the Freestylers, Friends of Distinction, Morecheeba, Babes in Toyland, Mission of Burma and The Replacements. Page two - I think you get the idea. The man formerly known as Boy Troy ex-FNX, Boston co-author, Nirvana: The Chosen Rejects

I would love to let you know what I would do to build a station if I won the lottery, but at this point I still have issues. Maybe a policy of no matter how bad sales are we won't fire you if you have great ratings. Sounds silly, I know. Imagine that ... A station that has wonderful ratings and a hard working TEAM and they are safe from the axe. Combined salary of the entire staff, including promotions director, doesn't cover what the GM makes in a year and if the station does well in ratings and the GM can't find a sales staff that can sell, then the station staff is still safe. Damn crazy talk!! GM can't get it done? Fire the airstaff!! Why does that make sense?? You know Jonathan, I am a single father that never took a day off because of sickness on my part in over three years at my latest station. I didn't take full vacation in two of the three years and I didn't get compensated for lost vacation on one of my years. Only compensated on the latter when I was fired at the end of the year. Merry Christmas! (Note to upper management: watch "It's A Wonderful Life"?) Yet when it comes down to who is let go the people that are fired are my type. All we want is to be given the opportunity to do our jobs as described by those above us. I was top three of the last four books three times 18-34 men and persons and #1 in each as well. We succeed according to their definition and still get a foot in the ass on the way out the door. WE are fired!? They tell us that is the way radio is. Bullshit. That is the way BAD radio is. My Hands are in the air. It's a good thing that I have an unemployment check to fall back on. I'm tired. I've been networking all day. Yes radio. I didn't win the lottery, but I am damned good at the programming side of radio. Peace, Don Kelley

Lots more tomorrow!